The reasons of family disintegration

Marriage is a holy link that husband and wife should try to keep it. Sometimes, husband and wife get divorced and this divorce may happen due to the fault of
The reasons of family disintegration
The reasons of family disintegration

Translator: Hadi Moein
Source: Rasekhoon.net
Extracted from: Rasekhoon

Marriage is a holy link that husband and wife should try to keep it. Sometimes, husband and wife get divorced and this divorce may happen due to the fault of one of couples. In this part, family disintegration is studied. The end of marital life is done due to the death of one of couples or divorce. *Marriage abolishment
Abolishment means the right to abolish the marriage contract. In the abolishment of marriage, divorce proceedings are not required although, according to the law, the parties must refer to the court and register marriage abolishment. The right to terminate a marriage is due to some faults of men and women before marriage or deception in marriage. * Divorce
Divorce means the separation of a woman from a man and the riddance marital relationship of which may be applied by a man or woman. This request is submitted to the family court and the court takes care of their requests after research and the observation of legal requirements. Also, under Article 1119 of the Civil Code, a woman's application for divorce is subject to legal proceedings. Also, if the situation of a common life is such thats he is in a difficult situation, the court, on the woman's request, will divorce her from her husband.
According to Article 1148 of the Divorce Civil Code, divorce which is at the request of a man is " rejection divorce and during the days (three months), husband may refer. In a retaliatory divorce, the woman must reside at the husband's house at all times unless there is a fear of loss of life, financial or dignity. In the days of Eddeh, if the man showed marital relationship witrh his remarks or behavior, they would be husband and wife without the need for a marriage contract.
According to Article 1146 of the Civil Code, a divorce on the part of a woman, because of her dislike, is a "divorce" which husband cannot reciprocate, and in return , the woman ignores all or part of her marriage portion.
Divorce is inappropriate in the point of view of the religion of Islam and the custom of society, and it is only acceptable if only there is a serious harm in the continuation of the common life. Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) said "Get married, but do not divorce because God's thrill shakes due to event of divorce."
The Prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his family) also said
'' Indeed, Allah and the Messenger of Allah hate the women who divorce their husbands unjustly. Moreover, God and the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) hate men who hurt their wives so that they ignore their marriage portion and divorce''. Unfortunately, as a result of cultural and social changes over the past decades, in most countries in the world, divorce has grown abundantly, which is very significant in Western countries; therefore, this is sometimes referred to as one of the indicators of the "sexual revolution" in the West.
However, in many other countries, we also see an increase in divorce rates , of course, at a lower pace. The average of divorce rate for marriage in some Islamic and non-Islamic countries is presented in the following tables:
Divorce and marriage convention in Islamic countries
In Islamic countries, the average of divorce rate for marriage between 1999 and 2003 Maldives 47.4% Egypt 13/4%
Kuwait 32/6% : Azerbaijan 13/1%
Kazakhstan 4.30% : Armenia 12.3%
Kyrgyzstan 20.2% : Bosnia and Herzegovina 9.6%
Jordan 18/7% : Iran 9/4%
Bahrain 18.6% : Turkey 9/1%
Occupied Palestine 7.7% : Tajikistan 7.8%
Georgia 14/0% : Libya 5/5%

The factors of divorce

Sociologists believe that the increase of divorce in recent decades is due to the following factors:

The change of values

The expansion of material values and the reduction of attention to religious values are considered as important factors in the increase of divorce. Hence, in the societies with good economic conditions, women and men have personal relationships without getting married. The culture of western materialism has influenced other societies. Hence, in families affected by this culture, in the process of crisis of values, the family is based on pleasure, temporary benefit, individual pragmatism, utilitarianism, materialism and instrumentalism, and humans focus only on pleasure, consider only their own interests and summarize everything in the context of material and even physical matters. In such conditions, human relations that are deprived of spiritual dimension will be very weak, vulnerable, and fragile. In fact, marital relations are not excluded from this rule, and divorce rates increase day by day.

The change of attitude toward marriage

According to some sociologists, family and marriage have changed from an "institution" to "community" in the new western perspective. In the point of view of a young Western couple, a contracted marriage is based on a completely free choice and based on romantic love. Such a conception of marriage well describes the concept of divorce and marital discontinuity because romantic feelings are instable and temporary, individuals may cut these relationships as fast as they engage in these relationships. Some believe that the high rate of divorce is not a short-term phenomenon, but it is the atonement of new concept of marriage.

Family structure change

Moving from an extended family system to a nuclear family has played a major role in increasing divorce rate because marriage is a part of a complex and widespread kinship relationship and divorce will require the dissolution of such a relationship. In addition, the independence and isolation of the nuclear family cause that in the times of crisis, little support to the family can be provided which can lead to emotional and financial pressures.
Sociologists have considered the denial of divorce, gender roles change, economic independence of women, and the freedom of sexual relations as the most important factors affecting the growth of divorce in many countries. *Causes of divorce in Iran
Unfortunately, in Iran, during the last decades, we have always seen an increase in divorce rates. The results of 92 researches conducted in Iran from 1979 to 2011, conducted by executive agencies or academic research centers, indicate that the most important causes of divorce in Iran are: *Social cultural factors
Cultural factors include the ineffective way of choosing a spouse, a little awareness of the role of a husband or wife before marriage , reducing the level of responsibility of girls and boys, lack of training the skills necessary to fulfill family responsibilities, the level of high expectations of wife or husband from each other, a positive impression of the consequences of divorce, lack of negative attitude toward divorce among relatives of husband or wife, disrespect of spouse, wife's or husband's dishonesty in pre-marriage introduction, and so on. *Economic factors
Economic factors include failure to pay alimony on behalf of husband, high economic expectations, type and rate of female employment outside the home, etc.

Ethical factors

Ethical factors include the disagreement of spouses, inappropriate communications, misbehaving, immoral corruption of wife or husband, addiction, drinking, swearing, selfishness, lack of problem-solving and so on.

Psychological factors

Psychological factors include intolerable mental and neurological features, the severe pessimism of husband toward wife, irrational beliefs, false motives marriage.

Sexual factors

Sexual factors include lack of sexual satisfaction, sexual dysfunction of men or women, sexual frigidity, unpleasant sexual habits of men, lack of submission of women, sexual diversity, the sterilization of men or women, and so on.

Divorce consequences

Although divorce is usually a departure from a tension and erosion relationship, people who are separated from their husbands have comfort for relatively short periods because the negative consequences of divorce are more. A permanent satisfaction of divorce happen in marriages that there is a high degree of crisis and harm in common life, and the negative effects of divorce do not equal it. In such cases, a person with the management of life after divorce finds separation as a real emancipation of many sufferings and losses. Some of the negative consequences of a divorce include: *Individual consequences
Many people experience many mental health problems after divorce such as: severe reduction of self-esteem, lack of interest in the life, feelings of conscience trouble, feeling of anger, disappointment, deceit, anger, depression and stigma and reduction of motivation and interest in work. In addition, leaving the marital relationship and regular sexual relationships leads women, and especially men to psychological stress. Divorce usually results in economic pressure on women because they will lose their financial support and will be responsible for their housing and spending. Finding a decent job and their employment in unofficial, volatile and underprivileged sectors will be a concern for women after divorce. *Family consequences
When a person returns to his or her family after having spent some time living in a common life and dissolving family, he or she usually does not have the previous position, and his or her life in an independent home also encounters a lack of respect for others. This will also reduce their safety rate for women.
A person who is separated from his or her spouse also faces limitations for re-marriage. Since divorce usually indicates that a person is not able to manage a relationship with a spouse, most of persons do not like to marry a person who has got divorced especially if he or she also has a child because taking care children has many problems. Divorce children will face newer problems if their parent marry again. The child's serious rejection by new spouse and children happen a lot. Although the adverse effects of divorce are high for men and women, divorce children will suffer a lot of damages. They are always faced with an emotional problem of separation from one parent, and even if there is a relationship with both of them, there will be an emotional problem because of the time separation. In addition to having a separate relationship with parents, the child lacks a coherent education.
Children living under the guardian of mother also face a lot of financial problems. Since he or she continues to live with one of his or her parents, he or she sometimes lacks proper recognition of other spiritual attributes of the other parent.
After parental divorce, children at pre-primary age are usually angry or depressed. Being reluctant to play with others and disrupting team play, taking care of cleanness, sadness, early crying and high expectations are some of the child's behavioral symptoms parental divorce.
Children who go to school show severe depression of parental separation in the states of anger and violence, and conflicts with teachers and academic failure occurs. In the teenage years, when people gain more autonomy and are away from the home environment, there is more delinquency in them. Controversy in choosing a parent, loyalty to one of them and leaving another are the major problems for adolescents after parental divorces. Divorce children will face newer problems if their parent marries again. In many cases, child's serious rejection by new spouse and child occurs. In addition, since a remarriage brings another person into solidarity, children feel that they cannot stay at home anymore and the new person will attract father or mother's attention and affection; therefore, he or she is severely discouraged and they are concerned about their relationship with the parent.
Divorce will cause that the child is separated from his or her mother or father. As a result, they will be deprived of the emotional, psychological and economic support of the brothers and sisters of parents. Social consequences
Divorce disturbs the balance of human beings and reduces social integration and unity. In addition, the mental balance of manpower in production and services will be disturbed and will have a profound impact on the economic life of the community.
Furthermore, the study of social pathology and social deviance is not possible without considering divorce. Divorce can increase social damages such as drug addiction, alcohol, increased suicide rates, behavioral abnormalities, and so on. Divorce can also lead to a diminution of family and family values in the community. In addition, the increase of divorce gradually decreases its social gains, deprives social trust which is one of the important components of social capital.


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Sunday, April 29, 2018
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author: علی اکبر مظاهری