A total of five theories have nearly been stated concerning the divorce
1- Those who look at marriage just from the view points of pleasure and do not care about the sacred marriage, family unit and training a healthy generation then, they are after absolute freedom and divorce that’s why, those who like Sami druid say: " the second love is more enjoyable" they do not seek conditions for divorce so, this theory is the most unreasonable one in this regard and in this case, is rejected.
2 – This is the hypothesis of the Catholic Church that says marriage is sacred treaty and unity of hearts and souls must be fixed and everlasting and nothing must separate them from each other unless death. The advocates of absolute divorce ban are declining in the world and in communities, such as Italy and Spain, have not a result rather than an increase in crime and illicit relations. This view is rejected by Islam.
3 –The freedom of divorce for men and rejection for women: This theory has had advocates in the ancient world and it has been practiced and today is practically rejected and deserted.
4 – The similar possibility of divorce for both men and women: Those who claim similar rights for men and women in terms of the family rights and falsely interpret it as equality of rights, are the advocates of this hypothesis. This group, despite considering marriage sacred, and regards family unit respectable, say that divorce conditions for men and women should be one other wise is injustice and discrimination therefore, from the point of view of Islam, this theory is rejected and, it will be cleared , too .
5 - The last comment is that the possibility of divorce for men from one way and women of the other way is available. Islam says the marriage is sacred and family unit is respectable and divorce is unpopular and the causes and the factors that bring it should be removed. But at the same time the law should not hinder the way for unsuccessful marriages therefore, the quitting way of the marriage bond should be either open for men and women, but the way for the withdrawal of the men from this standoff is determined, is different from those of women as result, the door of the divorce is out of the cases that man and woman do not have the same rights, while any injustice is not imposed on them.
Now, we will discuss different stations that might occur after marriage at home and family as well as preventing ways of divorce and obstacles for stopping it, and finally the ways in which each of the men and women have ahead.
After marriage practically four cases may be found:A: both men and women have agreed without basic problems and continue their own life.
B: Man and women have not had agreement and both regard the divorce the only possible and to be consent with it so, in this assumption, the legal and legitimate way is request for divorce and they must be separated.
C. man is not to be satisfied with his marital life and consider continuation of the marriage intolerable and undesirable so, in this situation, legally and religiously the way for man's divorce is open and with the provisions, conditions and tolerances, we can give up the losses of the marriage.
Man, to be dissatisfied with life and due to available situation, the continuation of the marital life to be difficult for her, in this situation, both law and Sharia have predicted ways for women such as taking attorney for divorce or satisfying man to divorce and resorting to court judge - and so that through which she can be released from marriage trap so, according to this image, any problem is not arise for both sides in this issue.
Islam's plan for not discovering the agents of divorce, and the obstacles to the divorce, is all - out wide so, we will point to some of them.
As mentioned before, Islam warms the environment of the home and made them ready for legitimate pleasures and on the contrary stops spreading of dramatic and exciting scenes at the community level. For example, various moral and legal advices to the husband and wife in mutual behaviors with each other, the philosophy of covering at society and restrictions of interactions with intimate and non-intimate encounters, recommending to the less calculated, healthy and lesser presence of ladies in different circles and many other verdicts in order to strengthen the origin and foundation of the family. On the other hand, Islam welcomes anything that dissuades a man from divorce. Islam deliberately stated conditions and regulations for divorce which naturally has delayed it and many times would withdraw from the divorce. When a man is not satisfied with his wife, holy Quran orders that treat fairly and honestly with your wives and if you're in abomination try to come to amenity; probably! Something may cause many goods to you, while you do not like it. Somewhere else when a woman to rebel in marital issues, firstly holy Quran gives her advice and recommendations and if by the soft language and tender offering of the problem was not solved, proposes that [couples ] sleep separately , and if it doesn’t work then, it necessities warns that would grasp the attention of the women and , if men and women both failed to resolve their conflict , Holy Quran says a man as a judge from man's relatives a judge from woman's is being chosen and they try to resolve the dispute however; in the next time, if it was supposed they have a divorce , its conditions is that the divorce happens at the time of the wife's purity so, the delay is an opportunity for reducing of resentments and tensions to come down and fairly operation of the two disputing parties.
The condition of divorce is just two witnesses also, another condition for the divorce is that to be given in the presence of two fair witness so, and the presence of these two true fair believers is a pretense that they do their best in resolving the conflict, too .
After ending the divorce ritual also resolutions has been predicted that sometimes causes a return to the common life so,
first, it is the issue of period in retrieval divorce for three months and ten days which is considered as husband retrieval allowance. Therefore, it is an opportunity for more reflection and the probability of man's repentance in which he can resume his previous life without dowry, marriage and wedding.
The second and third is women's staying at husband's home by the end of determined time and allowance of the time to make up for the husband so that it is possible that, by this method, that unpopular separation do not take place .
In the firs step, Islam's comment is not to force him take care of the woman so, such caretaking is on the contrary about family life of natural right in the issue of love and marriage so, it is given to the man not because of his possession but, because the women are thought of as an unintentional creature. However; it is probably because the man has less affection and feeling than woman and in ,familial tensions, - rarely makes decision based on feelings . On the other hand, the problems that divorce creates for men is may be a barrier that they seldom try it for example, those problems are the cost of marriage and dowry and alimony of women in the number of days , with a budget of caring children , claimed responsibility and supervision is all the man's responsibility. So, man who wants to divorce his wife, in addition to the cost of previous marriage costs, he has to pay new costs for the next second marriage. Conversely, if it was supposed the basic right to divorce to be in the control of the woman- as in the West by giving the right to divorce to the woman like man, they have heavily added on the divorce rate nevertheless, as soon as conflict breaks out, or the desire to affair, the woman cancels the marriage without shouldering any barrier and by this, assigns many costs on his shoulders , in reality, one does something and the other must pay for compensation and, this is a great injustice .
Anyway, the divorce right, first, in Islam is given to the man and woman also according to certain conditions can release herself. Here is some basic problem that needs to be resolved:
1- if a man abuses the right to divorce, and without to be a difficulty in the life and woman to be blamed for it, decides to divorce, what will be the Islam's procedure?
Firstly, in the narrations such people have been strongly angered. Secondly, Islam by recommended policies trying to prevent this issue, and never considers divorce execrable and unpopular. Thirdly, Islam tries to train committed persons and not young and capricious and if so, the Islam's comment is not to force him take care of the woman. Such maintenance will be on the contrary to the natural law of family life and will be an insult to women.
The Westerns day - to - day add to the cowardly treacherous factors of the man and provide the tools of lust and sexual stimulation and then, wants to stop divorce therefor, isn’t it the highest injustice to humanity? .
2 - If a man prevent to divorce because of vengeance, what should we do? If a marriage was unsuccessful and there was no mutual understanding and men by not carrying out his legitimate duties such as lack of displaying love and affection , making home a prison for the woman , and then refusing to divorce and troubled himself to annoy the woman and suffering her, so what is the case?
So, here we can discuss the cases that the woman can apply for divorce. In Islam, there is no rule without spreading and the fair God, never state an outrageous rule so, we have a general principle which has been obtained of holy Quran and narrations, and that is any man in the family life must chose one of the two ways or do all the rights and duties well . That’s why, to cut the marital bond and by goodness divorce her. In such conditions, when the man neither does marital duties nor give divorce, the judge must invite the man. First task her to divorce if he did not divorce, the judge himself divorces her. Imam Sadeq (peace to him) in a narration that says: anyone who has a
woman and does not cover her and does not pay her alimony, it is necessity for the imam of Muslim to separate them. So, the
Summary of the speech is when the man refuses to do his duties , women can ,by ruler of sharia, make her play his role , and finally, pronounce the divorce so, judicial divorce is one means of women's freedom therefore, another way which has been predicted in jurisprudence is the woman's divorce in withdraw. Another way which can solve the problem of the women in serious conflict situations in the life is the use of proxy to divorce. Today, in our civil law also has been predicted that women in marriage time and, if necessary, can clinch her husband's attorney to divorce so that in certain circumstances - agreed by both sides. But, alas! Due to the breakthrough of Western culture in our Islamic society, and some of the problems, the age medium of marriage goes up annually and conversely, the marriage rate goes down and on the other hand, the number of appeals for divorce and registered cases increases.
3 – In grudgingly divorces, in addition to the separation and family sprinkle, the issue of displacement and wasting of suffering and contributions of a woman who for a long time has worked in domestic environment, is being suggested. Islam, here, has separated the issue of divorce, home and provision of woman's life and has stated regulations for each of them and, secondly, providing the life expenses of woman and children is given to the man. Thirdly, in matters which does not related to marriage and sexual interest , the woman is not man's slave and her home drudgeries are only friendly and affectionately and it is a criticism that a wife can have toward the man and consequently, reward for it and insure her future .
Fourthly, by the dowry and home drudgeries and also because of the lack of financial commitment to family expenses, Islam has given the women enough time to enrich themselves in terms of financial equipment so that the divorce creates concern for her from this view point thus, the women who are likely to have financial needs in the future can by their own perseverance and concern remove that concern and women who are sure of their lives and their wives, based on fair consideration ,can get along with them , this group also may or may not even by their own faithful husbands owns properties so that to have supply in line with the level of their lives the woman does not feel that once she would become homeless. Among loyal men have always been common and so is now that as result of the sacrifices and honest services of the woman, they present precious objects such as home or other properties to their wives.
In short, the problem of woman's tramp after the divorce is not related to the law of divorce anyway, whether men give a divorce or women after separation, each one will face problems. This problem is related to independence and the lack of economic interdependence of women and, Islam has solved it therefore, women of Muslim can get rid of such problems by familiarizing with Islamic rules, some smartness and attention and caring about such problems.