The Holy Quran and mother’s training role in the family

Family is the primary nucleus of community as well as the principal means of culture transfer, thought, morality, traditions and emotions to one generation after the other. Among the family members, the greatest share of influence on the children is dedicated to the mothers; especially in families with natural, Islamic lifestyle and in accordance with patterns and traditions of Islam that based on it, the mothers’ milk is the best food for the kid and her arm is known as the best position for training and caring of the kids. Therefore, based on this attitude, the most obvious and highest role that in Holy Quran has been assigned for women and welcomed is the role of motherhood and adopting of the children’s caretaking and training by them.

Natural triple role of the women:

Women with the provisions of nature and creation system, express themselves in three normal roles; the role as daughter, the wife and mother role. Of these three roles, what is of special importance and deserves a bow and a tribute to women, is the status and position of motherhood.

Women’s role in the position of family daughter:

The Holy Quran has spoken of three former roles but, not as a measure of value equal and identical however; Holy Quran’s speech of the woman as a daughter of family refers to three aspects:

Defending of women and girls’ dignity:

Holy Quran has considered the status of women and girls and has always condemned the oppressive and degrading treatment against them - which has been common in many cultures, including pre-Islamic Arabs. Holy Quran and different ways of expression and signs has censured degrading view toward women and girls and has considered such attitudes incompatible with human values and monotheistic beliefs so, it says “Do not kill your children due of poverty fear; we feed you and them and certainly, killing them is a capital sin ““When the alive buried girls are asked for what sin they were killed? .

2- Confirming of Characterology and psychological approaches of the Girls

Holy Quran has spoken in a case of high intelligence, precision, realism and true personality recognition of the girls and it is, a judgment and recognition that the girls of Shoaib (PBUH) after a short meeting with Moses (PBUH) ,when watering the flock of sheep, got it and when they returned back home narrated it to the father in this way. One of the two girls said: my father? Hire him because the best person you can hire someone is the one who is strong and honest [and he is the same man}. Remembering of this story of Musa and Shoaib’s girls by Quran, is considered a story of Musa and Shoaib’s girls from the Quran, as an approval of intelligence, business and strong psychology for girls, especially in the matter of choosing wife.

The girls’ ability in the field of intelligence work:

The girls’ competence in the areas of news and information - that is of difficult and complex areas of human social life, especially in closed and authoritarian societies - in the story of Moses (PBUH) is addressed; What in that story, the Moses’s sister as mother’s appointed his, in tracking his brother, the Moses could do his assigned duties and responsibilities competently and despite entrance to the palace of Pharaoh, provided the way for mother's return to the mother’s arm in order to reach the desired end. And the Moses’ mother told to his sister and followed his states. He also observed the situation afar while they were unaware. We prohibited all lactating women to him [so that he comes back only to the arms of her mother and his sister who observed the officials’ impatience for finding babysitter } said: Do I guide you to a family that can bail this kid and to be his benevolent? We restored him to his mother so that he feels comfort and not to be sad

The role of women in wife position

Woman as a wife, according to the Quran, has more and more important roles in the realm of family and society.

A: the family realm

1) The completer and evolutional for man’s nature :

holy Quran , has talked in some verses about the creatures’ peer creation(man and woman) ; this concept, apart from meaning, talks about over all sameness of man and woman in principal dimensions and human principals such as ;values, perfectionism and human identity and shows perfection of each one for other however; each pair can not lonely shows the existential outcomes associated with strikes such as proliferation of a generation unless, her couple exists and to be presented besides her and apart from that then the case of parity is not correct and at least the case of being couple will be inefficient. Hey people!, fear of your God rejection, the one who created you from one soul so does his wife.

2) To perpetuate the human generation

In the same verse, after that God speaks of human couple creation man and the unity of the two couples in the origin and essence of creation, adds: “of both of them released many men and women [on the land].
The Holy above Verse pronounces a shared role for man and woman in spread and multiplicity of human species and for women gives a share equal to those of men. While at the time of Holy Quran revelation, in the tradition and pre-Islamic Arab societies and most cultures of that time, women is considered as single vessel of males’ sperm, and not as partner generation and having impact on mood and affective aspects of the rights of children and mothers.

3) The factor of couple tranquility and provider of her psychological and mental needs

(verse) of His signs is that, He created for you wives from among yourselves so that you find comfort in them and puts love and mercy amongst you

4) Deficiency Coverer and provider of needs and shortcomings of husbands

In the Quranic theory, men and women are discussed as a cover to each other {verse} your wives - women – and you are their clothing …. .
The Holy Quran’s view of cloth in marital role as couple, suggesting that of benefits and functions of marriage is protection, keeping dignity and adornment of each couple to the other one.

5) Wife Consultant in the family affairs:

God in two chapters of The Quran has introduced women as their wives’ advisors :{ verse)
Mothers milking their children up to two years ... and if they want with mutual consent and consultation to stop milking them [earlier], no sin they have committed. And [about your children], to do the works with good advice....
This is an opportunity to reflect whether the two mentioned cases have had specific characteristics or the Quran based on three examples, tips and emphasis, focused on two cases and this subject is applicable to other common family management.

6) Responding to natural couple needs

{Verse} Your women are your sowing place, so whenever you want, you can just lie with them.
The Encouraging tone of holy verse confirms the sexual needs and palate seeking - through intercourse with the wives - at any time and wherever it is felt, at the same time, shows desirability and also stability of sexual partners’ role in husbands’ sexual satisfaction.

B) The realm of community:

The Holy Quran speaks of the wives of Noah and Lout as symbols and instances of infidelity and disbelief as has mentioned the wife of Pharaoh as deserved and positive model for all men and women. God, for those who became disbelief, has exemplified the wife of Noah and Lut. They were led by two servants of our righteous servants, but they betrayed to both of them and the relation with these two prophets was of no use to them. And they were told enter in to fire along with those who enter. And God for the believers has exemplified the wife of Pharaoh, when he said: Lord!, make me a house for near Yourself in Paradise and save me from Pharaoh and his work as well as the group of oppressors.

The Women’s Functions in the role of mother:

A) The kids’ growth in the mother’s arm

Quran recognizes the family institution as a focal point for training (rising of internal talents) and for organizing potential growth of children and child rearing task for effective tracking system, determines the role and function of each of the parents. Mothers are milking their children for two whole years, [it] is for someone who wants to complete the period of milking and for the one who child was born for him [the father] is required to adequately provide food and clothe for mother [during milking period] - no one is obliged to exceed his/her ability - neither the mother [because of a dispute with the father] to harm the child and not the father {verse} . Some people have thought that this task division has focused on the time that the mothers were home settlers. On the other hand, the Quran has stated that this provision is not binding so, the institutions of fostering children, father or anyone else can substitute the mother and adopts the child's upbringing and for mothers’ milk appropriate food are restored. In response, we should say that this duty apportion between the parents, in the notion of the Qur'an, neither willingly and without knowledge and anthropological foundations, which emerged from context of nature, creation and man's natural talents such as physical ability, hard work, violence and … has put the man in the position of household breadwinner as well as family Constable. Love and compassion, grace and wit, peaceful, lenity, patience and so on has bestowed the woman maternal and educational duty. This reality in today's world - which is the of parents and children’s distance due to outside -the home works – in comparison to other times has become brighter which no substitute for breast milk can not be found and no training institution can compensate for the feeling , affection, warmth, comfort, refreshment and other mental and emotional supports of mother. Doctor "Benjamin Spock" 13 psychiatrists and pediatricians in America, recounts the extract of many years of field study and research: “Children can have normal growth and education. To gain this purpose I have come to the conclusions that is in brief as follow: an hour after an infant’s birth gives the child to the mother to touch him/her for a while, milking should be encouraged through the mother’s breasts and as much as possible at the time of doing things, the child must be with his/her mother. " He considers the benefits and outcomes of these training orders as more making healthy of human societies and changing of life conditions that based on it the women fearing of muscular changes, loss of beauty, break out of boredom and exhaust of home -stay, impatience , employment to work and works like this, do not even want to undergo part of children upbringing, and he does not recognize compelling reasons for failing to educate the children of the family and the mothers he adds “"I hope, while I expect more humanistic society, to be men and women who feel, childcare and home, at least as much as any other activities, is important and rewarding and no man and woman do not imagine that to choose this way to feel ashamed.

B) Sample Mothers, template figures

1- Wife of Imran, Maryam’s mother

Maryam is a woman who was also praised in the Quran and a woman chosen from among the world. And remember when the angels said: O Mary, God has chosen and purified you, and has made you superior to all the world's women {Verse} Mary’s holiness and election - as the Qur'an narrates - her upbringing in the mother's lap like Imran's wife with competencies, belief, devotion and her faith is not irrelevant, because the Quran before the glorification of Mary, has discussed her mother's features and says [Remember] when the wife of 'Imran said: "O God, what I have in my womb, I vowed to you, that to be free for you so, accept me that you are wise and hearer . Undoubtedly, a woman with such a monotheism and divine intention has spent her pregnancy period spent at full piety and sincerity and has taken care of apparent cleanliness, inward and away from influencing purity for her kid. The approach to the mystery and the importance of the Quran’s mentioning of divine and sincere motivation of Maryam’s mother at the time of pregnancy and pre-caching of her fetus before the Lord of the universe, is simplified when we notice that new scientific exploration and perceptions is stating that environmental and surrounding events of the kid since birth time and even earlier, in the embryonic period, such as ideas and thoughts, the kid’s grieves ,the mother’s behaviors and nutrition, hygiene, taking from milk and Education, have full effect on regulating the formation of the kid’s next character however, All the narratives and texts that talks about wedding customs, circumstances of time and requirement of intercourse, the effects of weather, mood and nutrition of mothers during pregnancy and breastfeeding are noteworthy from this point of view . Doctor Benjamin Spock writes:
"Man, before birth, not only grows in the mother’s womb, is fed and has a warm environment but ,also shares with her in all the movements. Maryam’s mother, in the first moments of her child birth is thinking of loyalty she has pledged to God and when she sees Unlike her imagination , she gave birth a girl, and can not ,according to the customs of that society, to be a member of the God’s home servants but, this event of unlike imagination, does not detract anything from her faith and she still keeps promise, names her infant 'Maryam' (worshiper of God) and ,by bestowing her and her generation to God , asks for divine assistance in her training. But, when she gave birth, {found her a girl} said: O Allah! I brought a daughter - but God was more alarmed of what she had born- - and the boy is not like a girls [girl can do the task of serving the temple as a boy can does}” I named her Maryam, and she and her daughter were driven from the temptations of Satan and in thee I take refuge. " The word "ouz" means to take refuge and resorting to other so, Ouz Mary to God, means to fully entrust him to God.
Maryam’s Mother, in her proper upbringing, did not spare any effort and God in her hands and in her lap, got Maryam to maturity and very good competence. The Quran has noted that purity and chastity of Maryam’s father and mother, in their community, were confirmed by people and they expected that by the sentence of natural and social laws, Maryam to be a competent figure and The Quran did not reject this expectation and has not counted it wrong.
Mary, mother of Jesus (PBUH)
The mother of Jesus (PBUH) is another sample mother that Quran has introduced her and has insisted that she is a mother who from early separation days from the mother’s arm, was settled in the house of God and began to worship God however, the position of Maryam, in servitude and obedience to God, got to the degree that she was chosen by God. The celestial Maida came down on her and was envied by the Prophet of God (Zechariah), and prayed having such a child from God. Mary is of praising women in Quran; since she has severely kept purity and her chastity is highly respected and has gone so far that has deserved to receive God’s breath. “And Mary, daughter of Imran – who has kept her lap pure, and we blew of our spirit in - she confirmed words of God as well as His Scriptures, and she was of God’s obedient”. “And [remember] when the angels said: O Mary! God has chosen you and purified you and has preferred you to the women of the world. O Mary! To (think this blessing) worship your God and bow with those who bow”. In total, the name of Mary as the mother of Jesus or independently, repeatedly mentioned in the Quran and of verses describing individual states, behavioral characteristics, liturgical, popular, election and chastity of Mary, her settlement in God’s worship and efficiency of paradise blessing, are some cases which are understandable and receivable.
A) Chastity and sincerely obedience of Mary caused a great child like Christ to be born in her skirt; what if a woman like Mary who was not symbol of chastity, she could not gain that dignity and have the capacity and competence to be as mother for Jesus.
B) Birth of a child like Jesus is deserved of a mother like Mary and this, obviously, shows the role of mother in the children upbringing in the period of infancy and after it as well as the psychological, moral states and also the faith of mothers on the mood and the conditions of children’s behaviors.
c) As if all the greatness and sanctity of the people in her role of motherhood is summarized into Jesus’s birth and his nurture however, the verses’ excess monitoring Maryam’s motherhood for Jesus is conceivable from this viewpoint.
Mary’s Motherhood for Jesus (PBUH) can not be considered as a pass-way or a container a without paint and influence on the character of Christ that if it was so, mentioning of all description of the ethical cares, Mary’s theism and her placement in the most holy shrine, doing nocturnal worship of God and nurturing from the purest foods in pre-motherhood period did not find necessity and adequate justification based on rationalism. In addition, the angels gave the good news of the Jesus birth to Mary and introduced that baby under the nickname of "Maryam’s child " and this means that she has had deserving share in achievement of the divine intention and the birth of a child like Jesus from her skirt. “When the angels said: O Mary! God has enunciated you to a word [is impressive] from His side ,that his name is Christ, Jesus, the son of Mary, while in this world and the other world, she will have personality. One of the Quran’s signs that clearly restates the effect of educational, personal, moral and religious character of Mary in the development of the personality of Jesus (peace be upon him) is 75 verse of Surah of Maida which states “Christ the son of Mary, was only the messenger of Allah and before him was some messengers, too. His mother was very honest woman and both ate; however,[ how do you claim the divinity of Christ and worshiping of Mary?]. One aspect of the God’s emphasis upon Mary’s “being Sadiqah." is that to say, a part of these unique features and exceptions of Jesus (PBUH) are true gift of his mother, Mary, otherwise he is human like other humans.

3) Mother of Moses (PBUH)

Moses (peace be upon him) was born in an era that Pharaoh, beheaded the male sexes of The Israelites so that his Monarchy does not decline. From the early days of the birth of Moses, his mother was overtook by anxiety and stress and failed to keep the life of her son and it was when the mother of Moses was instructed by God. “And we inspired the mother of Moses: milk him and, when you burst into fear, leave her in the Sea of [Neil], don’t afraid and do not be sad that we will return him to you, and we will choose him as our prophets. [And when the Mother by God’s command casted him into the sea]: the dynasty of Pharaoh picked him up, that ultimately, he becomes their enemy and a source of sorrow for them! This story can be discussed from several subjects.
A) divine inspiration to the Moses ,whether accounted as inspiration ,hearing sounds or any other mechanisms and what seems important and shows the dignity of Moses' mother as a mother is this reality that we see that all strategies and spiritual solutions of God accurately, thoughtfully and by courageous taken from the faith of the Moses’s Mother which is being learned and performed and God from the faith, the true heart, commitment and strict implementation of his instructions by the Moses’s mother (PBUH) with praising tone reports.
b) The secret of the again return of the Moses to the mother’s arm had been considered the Moses mother's soothing of the heart, removing her grief as well as God’s vindication promise. “We restored him to his mother's arms so that he feels comfort and not to be sad and know that God's promise is true. But , this reality that of all the possible ways, God predicts and destines the way of his refusal of accepting the sucking of other women’s’ breasts the reason of the Moses' return to mother’s arm and it can show this issue that the work of training, education, nutrition and growth of Prophet ,Moses, must be done by a woman who is his mother not any other milking woman And, this is meant to highlight the importance of the educational role of mothers and children and providing successful model of motherhood that with faith, sincerity, and trust to God, to in a best possible manner end the job of educating of a child like the Moses .
Coaching, the secret of Quran for praising mothers
If we pass Noah's story that some of Quran scholars, has considered the Noah's son brutality and binging up in an incompetent mother’s skirt – because out of Noah's family, only mother and child did not believe God and were drowned the storm along with disbelievers however, we can not find a case in which a woman to be blamed on the mother role. Especially the Koran has not even blamed Noah’s son unfortunate symptoms of disbelief in the way of his father to his mother however, we can not address a place that the Quran clearly have censured and reprimand women in the maternal role . Those who are familiar with the criteria of Islam’s valuation, knows that the Qur'an know that Islam and culture of Quran, to all those who doing the education role, has bestowed respect and dignity than others therefore, out of the characteristics and responsibilities of the prophets is their teaching and training role hence, the most important things that the Koran had addressed to admire the mothers are the cases that deals with their coaching aspects such as.
1- A right of most of mothers on children, goodness and kindness to parents, has been recommended in the seven chapters of the Quran, and always after believing in God and monotheism - that is cornerstone of Islamic Thought - has been considered. In two chapters of the chapters on the word "Om" has been emphasized separately and all the pains, sufferings and miseries that she has undergone for training, education and health of their children during pregnancy has been mentioned and thus, respected the dignity of motherhood more than the father and has reminded her duties to children. “And we have ordered the man concerning his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness [was subjected to a new range of suffering every day] and the time of his pregnancy ends for two years. Yes, [we advised him] that thank me and your parents that returning [all of you] is toward me. We have recommended man to offer goodness to his parents, his mother carries him sadly and painfully put him down and the era of taking the kid from milking is thirty months.
2- Quran in Surah of Asra, puts goodness toward parents in besides the rules and judgments that are necessary and also reminds the samples of good treatment and also finally adds that the children should, in secret and praying with God, reminds of educational role of parents. And say, My God! As
3- They brought me up at my childhood; kept me busy despite their own problems. Selection the title of “training" apart from that can due to the inclusion and coverage of it be on all the activities of child-rearing of parents that on the one hand, all the actions and behaviors of the parents have the educational aspects on the other hand, education has been commendable of that parents that have trained such a true believer and worshipers child.