Bohloul laughs (2)

Once they reprimanded him to a sin and took him to the king, after proving his sin, the king ordered to pierce a hole on his nose. Said hey King! My nose has two holes and does not need a third one. The King laughed and forgave him. One day along with a group of peasants went to Aaron Al Rashid and complained of the agent of the ruthless agent and asked for help. Ma’moun said: Among my servants, there is no one as trustworthy and fair as him and from the head to toe each member is full of justice. Bohloul said: O Caliph, because it is so, sends each member to Provincial Forest so that entire your kingdom will be overwhelmed by wisdom and people will live in comfort. Then, Ma'mun laughed and deposed that agent. A wealthy man to him that I have one hundred gold dinars and I want to give it to you, do you consider it good? Said that if you give, it is better to you and if not, is better for me, that is, if you give, you will indebt me and if not I will get rid of you. An Ignorant of the purpose told him why a bad smell coming from your mouth? Said insomuch that we have kept your faults in our chest, it has spread in our breath.
They asked him in which day do we have our hairs and nails cut? Said on the long day of Saturday, that is, each day that hair and nails get long must be cut. They asked when, in a desert, we get to a spring and we want to bath, which direction do stay? Replied: toward your clothes, because the thief does not take them. Once an inquisitive guy objected to him that why would you rush to answer questions? Replied: how many fingers are there on your hand? Replied: five, why do you rush to answer me? And you didn’t reflect? Said: because there was no need to reflect on.
Someone came to him and fought that someone has insulted me. Replied: he has made a mistake, you go! Do your best!.
One day, he was going on a way, a person fell down and landed on his neck, in a way that his neck vertebrae broke and a few days because of that fell in bed. A group came to visit him and said how our friend is? Said: What is worse than this that another guy falls down and my neck breaks. When on the twenty-seventh month of Ramadan he saw the month that has become thin and melted, said: Thank God that has melted your body, as you made empty my belly!
One day shared a food by Khalifa, all of a sudden; the caliph eyed at his mouthful and saw a piece of hair in his morsel. Said put it away from your bite. Bohloul stopped eating and said: some one who looked at the guest’s mouthful to see a piece of hair, we can not eat from his food.
One day the caliph told him that why you don’t thank God, that till I am ruling on you, you have disposed of the Plague? Said God is more just that in a time entangles us with two disasters.
To a king was told that in this city, there is a delicate man which is like you. Said: call Bohloul, the King started delicacy with him and said, Man, I know your mother, she had a feature that made brokerage and tiredly went to the houses : Said my mother never goes out of the house, but my father ,in the gardens of kings which was close to his harem , was gardening.
A Wretched was prescribed a seven years vinegar, asked Bohloul for it. Bohloul said I have but I do not give you. Said why? He said if I gave vinegar to someone, in the first year, it will be over and did not reach to seven years. One day he was taken to caliph, he saw caliph sitting on the throne, and others standing under said: hello hey God! He 'Said I'm not God. Said: Gabriel! Replied I am not Gabriel said: you are not God, not Gabriel then why have gone up and sitting alone? Come down and see among the people.
One asked him: how do people roast the pheasant?

Said: first you take

One day a friend asked to borrow his horse. Said I have a horse, but it is black. Isn’t it possible to get on a dark horse?: because I don’t want to give, this excuse is enough!
A person threw a shot on a bird, it was not on target. Bohloul said: well done! Shooter disturbed that you mock me? He said, I say well done only to the chicken!
They have stolen his shoes from the mosque and thrown them into church atrium said: pure God I am a Muslim but my shoes are..
Someone told him that if a pebble from those of Kaaba shrine fell into somebody's shoes, swear God it groans so as to return him to his place. Said: moan so as to torn up his throat.
He had an ugly wife who had gone traveling. Once sitting in a meeting, someone came running that give tiding, lady came home, said I wish home had landed on lady.
Once he went to the rodeo to sell his donkey; a buyer asked, how much is the cost of this donkey? Said a hundred dinar, the buyer said, I will buy fifty dinars Said: then, to whom do I sell the other half of it .
One day showed him a knife that what’s this? Said it is a saw which still has not grow tooth! One day, he was passing a road on foot; the glorious train of Khalifa emerged. Khalifa who knew him said: it is amazing to us that we see you on foot, where is your donkey? Said just today it has exchanged its life with you.
Someone wanted to write a letter to his friend, but doubted to the address of his friend, to counsel came to Bohloul and ask: how do I know that my letter will arrive or not? Said for sure, at the bottom of letter point that now if letter fails to arrive you, immediately inform me to send you another one.
One day a wealthy guy invited him that I feel homesick and tired, come and make us laugh. Bohloul said if you do not have any mirror at home? The guy said in my house there are many mirrors. He said there is no need to me. Look at them they will reflect the laughing thinks.

They look, laugh to say.

Every day at a certain time, he was talking and whispered by his own, they asked: what is the reason that you talk to yourself daily? Replied: I want during the day to have an hour's conversation with people.
A novice and blathered poet was warm at a gathering mass and was continuously poetizing and when failed to poetize sat while gasping for air. Bohloul whispered in his ears, please forgive my humble that I did not know you. The poet said I am the lord of Poets. Said: I have not become yet, but I will become to the future credit. Bohloul said: it is better to say to the “credibility of the future," say the late of the Poet. One day he was passing a road, the king and the prime minister arrived while they were on the horseback the minister rebuked him that, hey man, what are the name of these roads which royal trains pass them on? Said the road of animal!
Because it was midday, they spread the tablecloth and delicious foods placed on the table. All were busy eating, other than he who excitedly had eyes at the king and his throne and did not touch the food. The King realized and said with indignation: what is wrong with you man? Have not seen you the man? Said I have seen many man, but I have not seen King?
Once went into the bathroom, pulled out clothes and suddenly he remembered that he does not have a dinar of money. From the owner’s awe-bath, his heart fell, then raised his hands to the sky and said: oh Lord! Or arrive to me two dinars as bathroom cost, or collapse the roof over the head since I can’t stand striking the owner.
A Minute had not passed that the roof and column start vibrating. First he did not believe but because some of the breaks fell on the water source, he knew that now the roof is coming down. Came out in hurry and naked, ran away from the bathroom. Because he ran away for a while, out of the village he saw a shepherd sitting on the ground, and has raised hands to the sky and says: oh Lord! deliver me a hundred dinars! Because he heard this, burst into anger, beat a strong hit on Shepherd's neck and said, stand up, fool! I wanted two dinars, the hundred dinar Bath collapsed, you want one hundreds dinar, all the world will collapse.
Khalifa has summoned him that it is for sometime that my mind does not work, what is the plan? Said it is better that the caliph serves laxative food, or syrup of figs to eat and if these do not, he serves a strong laxative so that his mind activates.
They asked him what the secret of long life span is. Replied it depends on the tongue of human; the shorter his tongue is, the longer his life will be, the more longer the tongue , the length of human life is reduced .
Once he was invited to a provincial party, then, he sat on an agile horse and ridded fast, when got there got off the horse astonishingly looked around and said that if I knew I would arrive so soon, I would come on foot.
He was said what is sweeter than all? Replied: asleep, they asked what is that there is no bitterness to its bitterness. He replied again sleep. They said: How is it possible for something to be both sweet and bitter?
Said sleep is sweetest when body and soul need it to rest and the most bitterly when there is no need it to it and it is due to ignorance and neglect.
A well-to- do rich and proud guy intended to elegance aimed to speak with her. He said: Do you see any similarities between yourself and me? Replied I see a strange similarity between myself and you, the man said: what is that empty and filled with anything on our own. Eunuch said, what is it empty and full? Replied what is empty, is my pocket and your head and instead, what is foul is your pocket and my head.
A king summoned him that I heard you are master in interpretation of the dream, now, the dream that I had, I’ll tell you to notify us of interpretation. Said what sleep is royal dream? Replied: I dreamed that I turned into a horrible beast and while I am yelling out around me. I attack and what I find of both the young and old apart and swallow them What is the interpretation? 'I do not know the interpretation of reality, I only interpret the dream ...!
A Gasbag and ignorant man has written a lyric and in the meeting of friends was reading sensitively and was tearing, and moaned, they asked what the cause for tear and groan? Said friends! I am tender-hearted man, I can not read poem by crying! Bohloul: suddenly began crying out loud, they asked: are you crying to his tender heart feature he said no, I cry to his thick-skinned?
One day he was arguing with his wife, because it was a long struggle. The woman was bored and said: oh Lord, what a donkey I have come across with! Bohloul became angry and said: you have entangled by a donkey!!
Two men were arguing with each other and were ready to rush to each other. Bohloul arrived and without introduction, solidly slapped both of them. Since they began to protest, I said I have learned you that always between the two solutions, you should choose the third option, if I was not, you slapped him, or he slapped you, this become two solutions , I was the third solution and now you both are equal.
Some one constantly claimed that I am an important person and his audiences were skeptical, they asked him as witness whether
what i say is true or false. Said I certify that you are important, but not the first...!
One day someone told to him: If I lend you some money, I will be your creditor, but if you lend me, what are you called? Said: stupid
He has closed his head with a cloth, some one asked: why have covered your head? Replied do you see that holes? He Replied: yes. He said: I did not!
Once holding hiss hat and rubbing glue on it, they said: What is the reason that you rub the glue on the hat? Replied: because they can not steal my hat.
A selfish Poet was moaning that my collection of Poems was sniped, if I find him, I will ask the judge to have him to be executed. Said there is no need to judge, as soon as that unlucky reads your lyrics, he would hang himself up.
One day he walked so fast, they asked: where are you going with this acceleration? Replied: I'm going to stop the fight between two guys. They said: Which two? Said I and the one who is running behind me!. They asked: doesn’t your reason help you how handle her? Said my mind handles. But, not my power.
One day he was going to visit a stickman, when returning, the relatives of the sick saw him off. As soon as he got to the yard, stood up and said this time is not to be as before that a man died and you didn’t let me know ...!
A boaster claimed that in our village is a big mountain when we shout out: Khawaja, mountain also calls back and says Khawaja ... ... and says Khawaja … Khawaja. Bohloul replied this is nothing, in our village there mountain is a bigger one and when we cry out: Khawaja, Mt. asks: Which Khawaja?!
By the wall, was sitting opposite to the sun there, some said, why are you sitting in front of the sun said: I want unlike all those who by prying off entertain themselves, I want to have fun with sun...!
Once he suffered a bad disease and went to the doctor , the physician seized his pulse him and handed him a syrup and said drink of this glass each day six spoon, said : in my house is not more than one spoon where can I get the rest?
A Khawaja told him, it is for a time that I so rested to became tired. Said take some rest now!
He was seen sitting on the ground in the midday heat, and paws in the soil . They asked: what are you doing? Said my shadow is on the ground, I struggled to lift it.
the Judge of the town died. A huge Crowds of people came to his funeral, someone asked him during funeral should we move ahead or behind the coffin? Replied: it doesn’t differ to be in the front or rear, but, he should try not to be in the coffin.
They saw him sitting on top of a hill and paddles. They Asked: what has gone wrong with you? Replied all of a sudden, I fell deep in thought, I paddle to come out ofit