With Whom should we avoid making friendship?

1. The deviants of the religion (Unbelievers, hypocrites and heretics)
In most of verses, Quran recommends that we do not make friendship with such persons and turn away from them;
لاَ تَجِدُ قَوْماً يُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَ الْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ يُوَادُّونَ مَنْ حَادَّ اللَّهَ وَ رَسُولَهُ وَ لَوْ کَانُوا آبَاءَهُمْ أَوْ أَبْنَاءَهُمْ أَوْ إِخْوَانَهُمْ أَوْ عَشِيرَتَهُمْ
''Thou wilt not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day, loving those who resist Allah and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers or their sons, or their brothers, or their kindred''.
God states about God in two verses in Anaam Surah
وَ أَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْمُشْرِکِينَ‌
'' Turn away from polytheists''.
وَ إِذَا رَأَيْتَ الَّذِينَ يَخُوضُونَ فِي آيَاتِنَا فَأَعْرِضْ عَنْهُمْ
''When thou seest men engaged in vain discourse about Our signs, turn away from them''.
When such a verse was descended and Muslims avoided making friendship with unbelievers and persons that sneered at the verses of God, some Muslims said '' if we want to follow this order everywhere, we should never go to Al-Haram Mosque and circle around the house of God''. In such time, a verse was descended and Muslims were ordered to advise them in such occasions and to guide and lead them as much as they can.
God states
إِذَا سَمِعْتُمْ آيَاتِ اللَّهِ يُکْفَرُ بِهَا وَ يُسْتَهْزَأُ بِهَا فَلاَ تَقْعُدُوا مَعَهُمْ حَتَّى يَخُوضُوا فِي حَدِيثٍ غَيْرِهِ إِنَّکُمْ إِذاً مِثْلُهُمْ
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
مَن كانَ يُؤمِنُ باللهِ وَ اليَومِ الاخرِ،‌ فَلا يُواخِيَنَّ كافراً وَ لا يُخالِطَنَّ فاجِراً و مَن كانَ اَخي كافِراً او خالَطَ فاجِراً كانَ كافِراً فاجِراً
'' Everyone that believes in God and the doomsday does not make friendship with unbelievers and adulterers and whoever makes friendship with unbelievers and adulterers will become unbeliever and adulterer''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
لا تُوادُّو الكافِرَ
'' Make friendship with unbelievers''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) states
لا تَصحَبُوا اَهلَ البِدَعِ وَ لاتُجالِسُوهُم فَتَصيروُا عِندَ النّاسِ كَواحِدٍ مِنهُم
'' Do not talk to and have social intercourse with heretics because you will become like one of them in the opinion of people''.
He is my uncle.
A person with the name '' Jafari'' says '' Hazrat Abu Al-Hasan (peace be upon him) said to me '' why don't you go to Abd Al-Rahman Bin Yaghub? ''
I said '' he is my uncle''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said '' he says about God inappropriate remarks and describes God as things. O' Jafari! If you have friendship with him, give up your relationship with us and if you want to have friendship with us, you should give up your relationship with him''.
I said '' he says whatever he would like to say, but when I do not say whatever he says, what will happen to me?''
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said '' don't you scare that after torture is descended to him, the torture will be descended to you as well''.
2. Adulterers
A group that we should not make friendship is adulterers because friendship with this group is dangerous and adulterers deny reality and commit big sins. Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) states '' adultery is one of big sins and a person commits such a sin due to his lust, desire and interest and a person that commits it is an adulterer. An adulterer is licentiousness and friendship with such a person is dangerous and harmful''.
The consequences of friendship with adulterers:
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
ايّاكَ و مصادَقَةَ الفاجِرِ، فَانِّّهُ يَبيعُ مُصادَقَتهُ باِلتَّأَفُّهِ المُحَتقَر
'' You should have friendships with an adulterer because he is ready to cut this friendship with even worthless thing''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
لا يَنبَغي لِلمَرءِ المُسلِم اَن يُواخِيَ الفاجِرَ فَاِنّهُ يُزَيِّنُ لَهُ فِعلَهُ وَ يُحِبُّ اَن يَكونَ مِثلَهُ
'' It is not decent and appropriate that Muslims make friendship with adulterous and licentiousness persons because they show their ugly actions as beautiful actions and they would like that their friends become like them''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states in different cases
اِيّاكَ وَ مُصاحَبَةَ الفُسّاقِ فَاِنَّ الشَّرِّ بِالشَّرِّ يُلحقَ
'' Avoid socializing with sinners because bad persons have friendship with bad persons''.
اِيّاكَ وَ مُصاحَبَةَ اَهلِ الفُسُوقِ فَاِنَّ الرّاضِي بِفعِلِ قَومٍ كَالدّاخِل مَعَهُم
'' Turn away from friendship with adulterers because a person that is satisfied the action of a group is like a person that has accompanied them in that action''.
اِحذَر مُصاحَبَةَ الفُسّاقِ وَ الفُجّارِ وَ المُجاهِرينَ بِمعَاصي اللهِ
'' Avoid having social intercourse with adulterers and tyrants that disobey God clearly''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) was asked
( ايّ صاحبٍ َشرٌّ )
قال:‌ ( اَلمُزيِّنُ لَكَ مَعصِيةَ اللهِ
'' Who is the worst friend?'' he stated '' the worst person is a person that shows the disobeying of God and sins as beautiful actions for you''.
لَا يُؤمِنُ مَجالِسُ الاَشرارِ غَوائِلَ المَعاصي
'' A person that has social intercourse with villous and corrupted persons is not safe of corruptions''.
Imam Baqer (peace be upon him) stated to my father and my father stated to me
يا بُنَيَّ اُنظُر خَمسةَ‌ فَلاتُصاحِبُهم وَ لاتُحادِثُهم وَ لاتُرافِقُهم فيِ طَريقٍ فَقُلتَ:‌ يَا اَبتِ مَن هُم؟ عَرِّفنيهِم قالَ: وَ ايّاكَ وَ مُصاحَبةَ‌ الفاسِقِ فَانَّهُ بَايِعُكَ بِالكَةٍ اَو اَقلَّ مِن ذلِكَ
'' Pay attention that you do not have social intercourse, talk and make friendship with five groups. I said '' who are these? Introduce them to me''. One of these groups that I already mentioned is an adulterer because he sells you to a morsel or less than it''.
Imam Hussein (peace be upon him) states
مُجالِسةُ اَهلِ الفِسقِ رِيبهٌ
'' If you have social intercourse with adulterers, you will become distressed''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) states
لا تَصحَبِ الفاجِرَ فَيُعلِّمُكَ مِن فُجُورِهِ
'' If you have social intercourse with sinners, he or she will train you to ugly actions''.
It can be understood from last narrations that friendship with adulterers will have bad consequences.
Loqman said to his child
يا بُنيَّ اِياكّ َو مُصاحِبَةَ الفُسّاقِ، هُم كَالكِلاب اِن وَجُدوُا عِندَكَ شَيئاً اَكَلوُه وَ الاّ ذَمّوكَ و فَضَّحُوكَ وَ اِنَّما حُبُّهم بَينَهُم ساعَةٌ
'' O' my child! You should not have social intercourse with adulterers and bad persons because they are like dogs if they find something in you, they will eat them and if they do not find anything in you, they will censure and backbite you and try to dishonor you''.
He also said
يا بُنيَّ مُعاداةُ المُؤمنِ خَيرٌ مِن مُصادَقةَ الفاسِقِ يا بُنيَّ المُؤمِنُ تَظلِمُهُ وَ لايَظلمِكَ وَ تَطلُبُ علَيهِ فيَرُضي عَنك َو الفاسِقُ لا يُراقِبُ اللهَ فَكَيفَ يُراقِبُكَ
'' O' my child! Animosity with a believer is better than friendship with an adulterer. If you tyrannize a believer, he will not tyrannize you and if you do an action against him, he will forgive you and will be satisfied of you, but an adulterer that does not respect the rights of God will not respect your rights''.
3. Traitors
A traitor is not loyal to his commitment and the honor of his friend is not important for him. Hence, it is not proper to have friendship with such a person and we should avoid friendship with this group.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
الخائِنُ لاوَفاء لَه
'' A traitor is not faithful''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) also states
غايَةُ الخِيانَة خيانَةَ الخِلِّ الوَروُدِ وَ نَقضِ العُهُودِ
'' The worst kind of betrayal is to betray a friend and to break promises''.
Imam Baqer (peace be upon him) states
وَاحذَر صَديقكَ مِنَ الاَقوامِ الا الامَينَ الّذي خَشِي اللهِ
'' Avoid friendship with persons that are your kin except persons that are trustee and fear from God''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) states about this matter
اِحذَر مِنَ النّاسِ ثَلاثةً، الخائِنَ وَ الظَّلومَ، و النَّمامَ، لِانَّ
مَن خانَ لَك،َ خانَكَ
'' Avoid friendship with three groups: persons that betray, tyrannize and gossip because a person that betrays others will betray you as well''.
4. Idiots
One of groups that we should avoid friendship is idiots and stupid persons because friendship with them will have ominous and undesirable consequences and the religion of the Islam has recommended its followers to turn away from idiots.
It has been expressed in Quran
وَ اَعرِض عَنِ الجاهِلين
'' Turn away from idiots and stupid persons''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states in different cases
احذَر مُجالَسةَ الجاهلِ
'' Avoid having social intercourse with idiots''.
و لا تُصاحِبُوا الجاهِلَ
'' Avoid friendship with idiots''.
مُصاحَبةَ الجاهلِ مِن اَعظَمِ البَلاء
'' Having social intercourse with idiots is one of the greatest plights''.
مَودَّة الجهّالِ مُتغَيَّرةُ‌ الاَحوالِ وَ شيكَةُ‌ الانتِقاِل
'' Friendship with an idiot has changed and declined and it is about to be eradicated''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said to his child, Imam Hasan (peace be upon him)
صُحَبةُ الجاهلِ شُومٌ
'' Friendship with an idiot is ominous and fruitless''.
5. Tyrants
Tyranny is a crime and a tyrant is criminal. Tyrannizing others is one of big sins and friendship with a tyrant is to confirm his actions. Hence, we should avoid tyrants and should not have friendly relationship with them.
Imam Zein Al-Abedin (peace be upon him) has stated
اِيّاكُم وَ صُحَبةَ العاصِينَ وَ مَعُونَةَ الظّالِمينَ و مُجاوَرَةَ الفاسِقينَ احذَروا فِتَنتَهُم وَ تَباعَدُوا مِن ساحَتهِم
'' Avoid having social intercourse with sinners, helping tyrants and friendship with corrupted persons. Avoid their riots and turn away from them''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
اِيّاكَ و التَّطرُّقَ الي اَبوابِ الظّالِمينَ و الاِختلاطَ بِهِم والاكتِسابَ مِنهُم وَ اِيّاك اَن تُطيعَهُم اَو تَشهَدَ في مَجالِسِهِم
''Avoid going to the houses of tyrants, do not make friendship with them and do not make money near them. You should not obey them and should not take part in their parties''.
Turning away from tyrants:
Ali Bin Hamze says '' I had a friend that was a secretary in the court of Bani Omayye. One day he said to me'' arrange time to meet Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him)''.
Ali Bin Hamze says '' I arranged time to meet Imam Sadeq. After my friend greeted, he said '' I am one of the secretaries of the court of Bani Omayye, have gained a lot of wealth through different ways and have not paid attention to the way of gaining my money''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) said '' if you had not helped Bani Omaye, they could not have violated our rights and if you had not been there, they would not have usurped our rights''.
My friend said '' I had no way out''. Imam Sadeq stated '' If I show you a solution, will you act to it?''
My friend said '' yes''.
Imam Sadeq stated '' put away whatever you have gained and give back the properties of persons that you know and give alms the properties of persons that you do not know. Therefore, I guarantee you will be sent to the heaven''.
Ali Bin Hamze says '' the youth thought for a moment, made his decision and said '' I will obey your order''. Then Ali Bin Hamze said '' my friend along with us came back Kufa, he gave back whatever he had to his owners and took off even his clothes. My friends and i provided money, clothes and the expenses of the life. After a while, the youth became sick and we visited him. When he was about to die, he opened his eyes and said '' I swear God that Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) has kept his promise''.
Having social intercourse with tyrants:
Mansur Davaniqi wrote to Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him)
'' Would like to attend our parties in order to advise us?''
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) answered
'' A person that has close relationship in order to have the world will not advise and everyone that wants the afterlife does not socialize with you''.
6. Timid persons
One of persons that we should not make friendship is timid persons because fear is a fault in the inner of a person.
Imam Ali peace be upon him) states
الُجبُنُ شَينٌ
'' Fear is the cause of disgrace''.
One day a timid person will hand up against villous persons and will escape away. Friendship with them weakens soul and psyche. It is recommended to make friendship with brave persons and courage is one of the prominent features of believers and it leads to the improvement of spirit, progress and success in superb purposes''.
Imam Ali peace be upon him) states in Nahj Al-Balaghe
لا تُدخِلَنَّ في مَشورَتِكَ بَخيلاً ... و لا جَباناً يُضعفُكَ عَنِ الامُوُر
'' Do not consult with a stingy and timid person because a timid person weakens you in affairs''.
What is fear?
Imam Mojtaba was asked '' what is fear?''
He answered
الُجرأَةُ‌ علَي الصِّديقِ و النُّكُولُ عَن العَدوُّ
'' Courage should be for friend and you should avoid enemies''.
Imam Baqer (peace be upon him) said
لا تقُارِن و لا تُواخِ ... الجِبانَ ... فَانِّهُ يَهرُبُ عَنكَ و عَن والدِيَهِ
'' You should not have social intercourse and friendship with timid persons because such persons avoid you and your father and mother''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) stated
لا تَصحَب خَمسَةً... و الجَبانَ فَانّهُ يُسُلِّمُكَ وَ يَفِرُّ عِندَ الشِّدَّةِ
'' Do not have social intercourse with five groups: timid persons that make you hand up against others and leave you in the time of difficulty''.
Anecdote
Two persons went to a jungle in order to hunt. A bear came up from a far place and one of them that was too timid escaped away and climbed up a tree, but the other one could not climb up the tree. He had heard that bears do not hurt the dead. Hence, he lied down on the earth and pretended that he was dead. The bear approached him, walked around him, smelled him and left there without hurting him. After the bear walked away, the person that had left his friend alone and climbed up the tree due to a lot of fear climbed down the tree. Because he was ashamed of leaving his friend alone and had got away, he said in a joking way '' by the way, when the bear approached you, what did he say to you? ''
His friend said '' the bear said to me '' do not make friendship with timid person''.
7. Lazy persons
One of persons that we should not make friendship is unemployment and lazy persons. It is recommended to work and attempt in the Islam and the persons of the society should be active and hardworking. God grants his favors to persons that work and make money.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
مَن اَكلَ مِن كَدِّ يَديهِ كانَ يَومَ القِيامةِ في عَددِ الانبِياءِ وَ يَأخُذُ ثَوابَ الاَنبياءِ
'' A person that eats from his or her attempt will be like prophets in the doomsday and will have their reward''.
As it can be understood, persons that work, are active and hardworking and meet their needs with their attempts will be in the rank of prophets.
This matter represents the reward of hardworking persons. A person that tries for the relaxation of his family is like a person that loses his life in the path of God, but better than it. In contrast, laxity is censured in the religion of the Islam.
Imam Kazem (peace be upon him) states
انَّ اللهَ يُبغَضُ العَبدَ النَوّامَ الفارغَ
God considers a lazy person that sleeps a lot as enemy''.
Imam Kazem (peace be upon him) has said in a Hadith
'' I consider a person that is lazy in the affairs of his world as an enemy because a person that is lazy in the affairs of his world will be lazy in affairs related to his afterlife''.
Therefore, friendship with a lazy person will have consequences and spoils the soul of work and activity in his friend.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) recommended to Imam Ali (peace be upon him)
يا عَلِيٌّ:‌ مَن لَم تَنتَفِع بِدينهِ و لا دُنياهُ فَلا خَيرَ لَكَ في مُجالَسَتهِ
'' O' Ali! Socializing with person that does not benefit you from his religion and world will have no value''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said to his child in his will, Imam Hasan (peace be upon him)
لا خَيرَ في مُعينٍ مَهينٍ
'' Friendship with a lazy person will be useless''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) also states
لا تَتَّكِل في اُمُورِكَ عَلي كَسلانٍ
'' Do not trust a lazy person''.
لا تَتَّكِل في اُمُورِكَ عَلي كَسلان
'' There are a lot of persons in the society that have friendship with lazy persons and then they separated values and declined''.
Friendship with lazy and jobless persons cause that students have separated from education, university students from university centers and workers and employees from their workplace. As a consequence, they are wanderers like lazy persons and after a while, they commit crimes such as burglary, smuggler and…
Moreover, there have been persons that have had high incomes, but they have spent all of them lazy and jobless friends. Then they have had to stay at home and have become needy. Friendship with lazy persons is not decent and appropriate. To avoid the dangers of such persons, we must avoid socializing with such persons.
8. Bad-recorded and suspicious persons
A person that makes relationship with bad persons will be accused of their crimes even though their nature does not influence them. Even if a person goes to ruins in order to pray, he or she will be accused of drinking wine. There is no question that the personality of a person is made of different affairs such as friendship with good persons because a person is influenced whether he or she wants or not. Most of thoughts and moral features of persons are influenced by the features of friends. The preservation of honor and grace of a person is prior to the survival of life and body. This shows how respectable persons are afraid of the insults of other persons. The Islam recommends to avoid positions and parties that you may become accused;
اِتقوا من مَواضِعِ التُّهَمُ
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
مَن وَضعَ نَفسَهُ مَواضِعَ التُّهمَةِ فَلا يَلوُمَنَّ مَن اَساءَ بهِ الظَّنَّ
'' A person that insults others should not censure another person that is suspect to him or her''.
Imam Ali also (peace be upon him) states
مَن دَخلَ مَداخِلَ السُّوءِ اتُّهِمَ
''A person that enters inappropriate places will be insulted and accused''.
Hence, the Islam has prevented its disciples from going to parties and places that are accused. Moreover, the Islam has prevented them from friendship with friends that have bad records and are suspicious from the point of view of other persons because they socialize with such persons, they became disgraceful and accused.
مَن كانَ يُؤمِنُ بِاللهِ وَ اليَومِ الاخرِ فَلا يَقُومُ مَكانَ رَيبةٍ
'' Whoever believes in God and doomsday should enter places that are accused and hesitated''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
اَولَي النّاسِ بِالتُّهمَةِ مَن جالَسَ اَهلَ التُّهمَةِ
'' Persons that socialize with corrupted persons are more insulted and accused''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) that my father said to me
يا بُنَيَّ، مَن يَصحَب صاحِبَ السُّوء لا يُسلَم
'' O' my son! Everyone that socialized with bad persons will not survive''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) has narrated from Hazrat Suleiman
لا تَحكُمُوا علَي رَجُلٍ بِشَيءٍ حَتيَّ تَنظُروا اِلي مَن يُصاحِب، فَانِّما يَعرِفُ الرَّجُلُ بِاَشكالِه وَ اَقرانِه و يُنسَبُ اِلي اَصحابهِ و اَخدانهِ
'' Whenever you judge about others, you should consider his or her friends because a person is known through his or her friends and comrades''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
و مَنِ اِشتَبهَ عَليكُم اِمَرهُ وَ لَم تُعرَفُوا دِينَهُ، فَانُظروُا اِلي خُلطائهِ، فَاِن كانُوا اَهلَ دِينِ اللهِ فَهوُ عَلي دينِ الله، وَ اِن كانُوا عَلي غَيرِ دينِ الله فَلا حَظَّ لهُ مِن دينِ اللهِ
'' If the personality of a person becomes in error for you and you do not know his or her religion, you should consider his or her friends; if his or her friends have the religion of God, he or she will the follower of the religion of God and if they do not have the religion of God, he or she will not be the follower of the religion of God''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states about this matter
اَلمرءُ عَلي دينِ خَليلهِ وَ قَرينهِ
'' Human manner will be according to the religion of his or her friend''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) also states
فَليَنظُر اَحُدكُم مَن يُخالِلُ
'' Be careful with whom you make friendship''.
Amersun says
'' Tell me with whom you make friendship so that I can tell you what kind of person you are''.
Santbu says
''Tell me what persons you know so that I can tell you who you are and what talents and morals you have''.
As a matter of fact, even if a person is good and he or she has a friend that has bad record and does not have a good face among people, they will say '' although he or she is a good person, he or she will be like his or her friend''.
Hence, we should avoid this group that has bad record and is suspicious.
9. Liar persons
Lie is one of big sins the worst moral corruptions and the most important factor of social corruption. Lie is harm (prohibited) in the Islam and the Islam has recommended its followers to avoid lying.
Socializing and friendship with a liar is harmful and dangerous and the dignitaries and leaders of Islam Religion recommend to avoid friendship with this group;
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
اِجتَنِب مُصاحَبةَ الكَذّابَ، فَاِن اضطُرِرتَ اِليهِ فَلا تُصَدِّقهُ
''Avoid socializing with a liar person and if you have to socialize with him or her, do not believe his or her remarks''.
Imam Ali also (peace be upon him) states
اِيّاكَ و مُصادَقةَ الكَذّابِ فَانَّهُ يُقَرِّبُ عَليكَ البَعيدَ و يُبَعِّدُ عَليكَ القَريب
''''Avoid socializing with a liar person because a liar person makes relatives far from you and make strangers close to you''.
Whenever Imam Ali (peace be upon him) went over the pulpit, he stated
يَنبَغي للِمُسلِم اَن يَجتنِبَ مُواخاةَ ثلَاثةٍ، الماجِنِ و الاَحمقِ و الكَذّابِ
'' Muslims should avoid friendship with three persons: lecherous and stupid persons and liars''.
Imam Sajad (peace be upon him) said to his child, Imam Baqer (peace be upon him)
اِياكَ و مُصاحَبَةَ الكذَّاب فَاِنّهُ بِمَنزلَةِ السَّرابِ يُقرِّبُ لَكَ البَعيدَ و يُباعِدُ لَكَ القَريب
'' O' my child, you should not socialize with a liar because he or she is like a mirage that he or she exhibits strangers as close persons and close persons as strangers''.
One day the prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated
Last night, I was in my dream that a person came to me and said '' stand up! I stood up. I saw two men. One of them that had stood had a thing like irony stick and pressured on the corner of the mouth of a man that had sat and he pressured it as much as the irony stick reach between his shoulders. Then he took it out and pressured the other side of his mouth and tore up the other side the same as the other one. I said to the man that moved me '' who is this an? And why are you torturing him?''
He said '' he is a liar and he will be tortured in the grave until the doomsday''.
What are the deeds of persons that are sent to the hell?
A man came to the presence of the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) and said '' O' the messenger of God! What are the deeds of persons that are sent to the hell?''
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated
'' It is lying because when a person tells a lie, he or she will get away from right path and when a person gets away from right path, he or she will become an unbeliever and when a person becomes an unbeliever, he or she will be sent to the hell''.
Does a devout person tell a lie?
A man asked the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) '' does a devout person commit incest?''
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated '' he or she may commit it''.
The man asked '' does a devout person steal?''
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated 'he or she may commit it''.'
The man asked '' does a devout person tell a lie?''
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated
'' No, a devout person does not tell a lie because God states that persons that tell a lie do not believe in me''.
It can be understood from the matters that lying eradicates the value and validity of human and it will have the humiliation of the world and the doomsday. Hence, we should avoid this ugly action and do not make friendship with persons that commit this ugly action''.
10. Stingy persons
Friendship with stingy persons is prohibited and one of persons that we should not make friendship with are stingy persons.
At first, we should get familiar with the meaning of '' meanness'' and recognize stingy persons.
What is meanness? It means that we avoid generosity when we should be generous and meanness is in contrast with generosity. A stingy person is a person that he or she becomes sad that he or she helps and do favors for others and helps and do favors for needy and poor persons and donate them.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) introduces stingy persons in this way
والبَخيلُ الَّذي لا يُؤَدّي حَقَّ اللهَ عَزّ و جلَّ في مالهِ
'' A stingy person is a person that does not pay the divine rights of his properties''.
''Stingy persons are persons that avoid paying for divine obligations and spend their properties for other things''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states
اَيّاكَ و مُصاحَبَةَ البخيلِ فَانَّهُ يَقعُدُ عَنكَ اَحوجُ ما تَكونُ اليهِ
'' Stop socializing with stingy persons because he or she avoids giving whatever you need''.
Imam Zein Al-Abedin (peace be upon him) states
اِيّاكَ وَ مصاحبة البَخيلِ، فَانَّهُ يَخذُلُكَ في مالهِ اَحوج ما تَكونَ اِليهِ
'' Stop socializing with stingy persons because he or she humiliates you from whatever you need''.
The prophet that avoided socializing with the stingy person:
One day the prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) that was circling around the house of God saw a person saying with his hand on the curtain
I swear you to the greatness of this house that you forgive my sin.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated '' what's your sin?''
The man said '' it is greater than I explain''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) asked
'' Is your sin bigger than lands?''
The man answered '' my sin is greater than it''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) asked
'' ؟''Is your sin bigger than mountains
The man answered '' O' the messenger of God! My sin is greater than it''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) asked
''Is your sin bigger than mountains?''
The man answered '' O' the messenger of God! My sin is greater than it''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) asked
''''Is your sin bigger than the world?
The man answered '' O' the messenger of God! My sin is greater than it''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) asked
''''Is your sin bigger than the world?
'' Of course, God is greater than it''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) asked
'' Tell me what your sin is?''
The man said '' O' the messenger God! I was a rich man. Whenever a rich man referred to me, I got so sad. It was like a man that came to me with melted fire''.
The prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated '' Get away from me. Don't burn me with your fire. I swear God that has selected me to guide human. Even if you pray for two thousand years and cry as much as a lot of tears flow from your eyes like streams that water trees, woe you! God will sent to the hell if you die as a stingy person''.
11. Flatterers
We should also avoid friendship with flatterers because they admire and comment their friends in their presence and have deceiving and glib tongue superficially, but we should not be deceived by their glib and their sweat remarks superficially.
Pour dirt on the head of flatterers:
A poet came to Uthman and he admired and extoled him in the presence of other persons. Other persons that attended there admired him, but Uthman became furious, stood up, picked up a handful of dirt and poured on the face of flatterer poet.
It was objected to Abuzar. Abuzar said '' I heard from the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) that stated '' pour dirt on the face of flatterer eulogists ''.
A two-faced flatterer:
When Moavie selected Yazid as crown prince Hamrae Palace. Some people came and greeted Moavie. Then they turned to Yazid and said hello to him. A flatterer man came to Moavie and said
'' O' Amir Momenan! If you had not assigned the governorship of the affairs of Muslims to your child, Yazid, the governorship of Muslims had been spoilt''.
Moavie said to Ahnaf Bin Gheis that was one of the dignitaries and intellectuals of that time that had sat there '' why aren't you saying anything?''
Ahnaf said '' if I tell the truth, I will scare you and if I tell a lie, I will scare God''.
Moavie ordered to give a lot of money to the flattere and he said '' God rewards you in the path of obeying''.
When Ahnaf left the party, he faced to the flatterer man. The flatterer said '' I know well that Moavie and his son are the worst creatures of God, but there are a lot of Dirhams and Dinars in them. We can't use them except this way that you saw''.
Ahnaf said '' shut up. A two-faced person is deserved that he or she will not be acquitted''.
My father stole things on the neck of a donkey.
A man came to the presence of Karimkahan Zand and tears were flowing from his two eyes. He tried to talk, but his crying didn't stop. Karimkhan said for sympathy with him '' take him to a corner so that he can feel comfortable. After he felt relaxed, they took him to the presence of Karimkhan and he was fondled by him. When the king asked about his health, he said '' I had a bitter life because I was born with blind eyes and could not go anywhere. One day I arrived to the grave of my father with a lot of difficulty and effort and wanted his holy soul to grant me my eyesight. I cried as much as I fell asleep. I saw a great man in my dream that came to me, put his hands on my blind eyes and said '' I am the Abu Al-Vakil, the father of Karimkhan and I have healed your eyes''.
Afterwards, I woke up, my blind eyes opened and the dark world became clear in my eyes. Now I've come to you to say that you are the child of such a father. I obey whatever you order''.
Karimkhan ordered to bring to a hangman to pull out his eyes. The audience intermediated and said
'' This man has said such remarks from his misery so that he can receive donation from you. Vakil accepted the intermediate of other persons, ignored his blame and said '' as long as my father was alive, he stole donkeys. Now I have promoted to this rank, flatterers have built a tomb for him. Now you, liar flatterer, consider him as the owner of miracle. I wish I would order to pull out your eyes and you went and took other eyes from him''.
There were such flatterers in all of eras, there are such persons now and there will be in the future. They flatter in the presence of maters and dignitaries in order to again the wealth of the world and ranks and positions. Hence, we should be alert and careful because they think of their own benefits.
There are narrations about this matter that refer to the disapproving of flatterers and persons that would like to be extoled and eulogized.
قال علي (عليه السّلام):
( طَلبَ الثَّناء لِغيَر اِستحقاقِ خُرقٌ )
'' It is stupid that we have unnecessary expectations from people that extol and comment us''.
قال علي (عليه السّلام):
( الثَّناءُ بِاكثرَ مِن الاستِحقاقِ مَلَقٌ )
'' Admiring others more than necessary is flattering''.
قال علي‌ (عليه السّلام):
( اَكبرُ الحُمقِ الاغراقُ في المَدح و الذَّمَّ )
'' The greatest degree of idiocy is admiring more than necessary''.
قال علي (عليه السّلام):
( لَيسَ مِن اَخلاقِ المُؤمنِ المَلَقُ
'' Flattering is not the features of devout men''.
Darab Shahriar says
'' A person that admires you in whatever you don't have in friendship will censure you in animosity about whatever you don't have''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states about this area
لا تَصحَبِ المالِقَ فَيُزَيِّنَ لَكَ فِعلَهُ وَ يَودُّ اَنّكَ مِثلُه
'' Don't make friendship with a flatterer because he exhibits his job for you beautifully and loves that you be like him''.
12. Stupid persons
One of the conditions that the religion of the Islam introduces and recommends for the selection of a friend is his or her wisdom. It also recommends that we should avoid friendship with stupid friends because stupid friends create some problems in friendship. They cause sadness, grief, pain and bias and darkens and weakens hearts and finally burns persons. Friendship with a stupid person is transient.
The kinds of persons:
Persons are three kinds from mental and spiritual aspects:
a. A completely wise person
He or she is a person that finds the way of survival and moves toward it permanently.
b. A rather wise person
He or she is a person that falls into the marsh and considers obeying a wise person disgrace and dishonor. As a consequence, he or she perishes and declines.
Who is a stupid person?
Three fish lived in a bond beside the sea. One of them was wise, the second one rather wise and the third one stupid. The fishers tried to capture the three fishers.
The wise fish said '' I don't consult with them and follow the way of my survival. It isn't the time of consulting and I should escape from the irritation of enemy secretly. This fish ignored the bond and escaped from the irritation of the enemy with a lot of efforts and try. After he endured a lot of pains and dangers, he reached the wide sea and survived.
The rather wise fish: he turned around, suddenly saw himself against the danger of hunting and said '' I wish I had followed him and had not separated from him. But regret and sorry are no use any more and I should think about the way of my survival''. Hence, he pretended that he had died and water moved him like wood chips involuntarily. The fishers grieved that the fish had died. But the fish survived by any means.
But the third fish that was stupid didn't have good relationship with consultant moved to this side and that side like a snake so that he could survive. But it was hunted by the fisher and its stupidity made it fall into fire. When the fish was burning from the heat of fire, he said to himself '' didn't they warn you?'' Then he answered '' but if I survive this time, I will listen to the warn of warner''. He said to himself '' if I find a chance, I will take the lap of a wise person day and night so that I don't suffer from pain''.
Why don't we stand up in order to respect Ghanbar?
One day Ghanabr, the servant of Imam Ali (peace be upon him), entered the party of one of arrogant and transgressor men. Some persons had sat in his presence. One of them was a short-sighted and stupid man that considered himself as one of the Shias of Imam Ali (peace be upon him). When Ghanbar entered there, the Shia of Imam Ali stood up in order to respect Ghanbar on the behalf of the rank of Imam Ali and welcomed his entrance.
The arrogant man got sad of this action and said to him '' do you stand up for the entrance of a servant in my presence?''
The man said something to him that made him angrier instead of saying nothing'' Why don't I stand up in order to respect Ghanbar? He is as great as angels spread their wings in his path and Ghanbar walks on the wing of angels. This unnecessary expression of friendship made the arrogant man as much as he stood up, hit Ghanbar and abused him.
Does this mean stupidity?
One day a stupid person left his house, saw a corpse of a person beside the well of his house and threw it into the well. The father of the stupid person became aware of the action of his child. He took out the corpse immediately, killed a ram and threw it into the well. The parents of the murdered person was looking for the corpse in Kufa. The stupid person saw them and said ''there is a murdered person in our house. Come and see whether he belongs you or not.
They came to his house and had the stupid person enter the well. When he saw a ram into the well, he called out '' does your lost person have a horn?'' As soon as they heard such a sentence, they laughed and left there.
Another story
A bear fell captured into the paw of a dragon. His roar came up due to a lot of pain and panic. When he heard such a roar, a brave man came to him saved him from the paw of the dragon.
The bear became the companion of the brave man and guarded him like the dog of Ashab Kahaf in order to be grateful toward him until the hero man got tired and lied down on the ground so that he could sleep and rest. A man was passing by there and saw that a furious bear was guarding a person that had lied down. He got surprised and said to the person '' what is your story with this bear?''
The man expressed the story he passerby and the passerby said '' any way, don't rely on the bear and avoid friendship with stupid persons. The brave man didn't pay attention to the remarks of the passerby and he said to himself '' he said such a thing due to his jealousy because the bear guards me kindly. Then he said '' O' passerby! I haven't been irritated by the bear so that I makes him get away from me''. The passerby said '' I want to help you and retell you that you should avoid socializing with the bear''.
The man did not pay attention to the advices of the passerby. The passerby left there and the brave man that was tired lied down there once more and slept there. The bear took care of him and made the mosquitos on the body of the man go away with his hands until the bear got tired of the coming and going of the mosquitoes at last. Hence, he picked up a big stone and hit it on the mosquitoes of the face of the man firmly. As a consequence, the brain of the brave man smashed and he died.
Yes, you should be careful because friendship with stupid persons is dangerous and you should avoid them.
A stupid friend is the cause of pain and trouble. A stupid friend wants to benefit his or her friend, but he or she harms him or her.
In this part, we get the attention of dear readers to narrations about this area.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states in different case
مَوَدَّةُ الاَحمقِ كشَجَرةِ النّارِ يَأكُلُ بَعضُها بَعضاً
'' Friendship with a stupid person is like a tree that has fired and some of its parts eat other parts''.
مَودَّةُ الحُمقي تَزُولُ كَما يزُولُ السَّرابُ وَ تَقشَعُ كَما تَقشََعُ الضُّبابُ
''Friendship with a stupid person is like a mirage that is destroyed so soon and like a cloud that is torn so soon''.
اِيّاكَ وَ مُصاحَبَةَ الاحَمَقِ فَانِّهُ يُريدُ اَن يَنفَعَكَ فَيَضُرُّكَ
'' Avoid socializing with a stupid person because a stupid person wants to benefit you, but he or she harms you''.
صُحبةَ الاَحمقِ عَذابُ الرُّوحِ
'' Talking to a stupid person hurts soul''.
صَديقُ الاَحمقِ في تَعَبٍ
'' The friend of a stupid person is always at pain''.
صَديقُ الاَحمقِ مَعرِضٌ للعَطَّبِ
''The friend of a stupid person is always on the edge of the declination cliff''.
وَ اَفِرر كُلَّ الفِرارِ مِنَ الَّلئيمِ الاَحمقِ
'' Get away from mean and stupid persons however much you can''.
و مَن لَم يَتَجنَّب مُصاحَبَةَ الاَحمقِ اَو شَكَ اَن يَتخلَّقَ بِاَخلاقِهِ
'' A person that does not avoid socializing with stupid persons will trouble in their features so soon''.
13. Drunkards
You should know that wine has bad spiritual, physical, thinking, mental, cultural, economic, social and moral effects and Imam Reza (peace be upon him) states about this matter
حَرَّمَ اللهُ الخَمرَ لمِا فيها مِنَ الفَسادَ وَ مِن تَغييرِ عُقُولِ شارِبيها وَ حمَلهِا اِيّاهُم عَلي اِنكارِ الله عزَّوجلَّ وَ الفِريةِ علَيهِ و عَلي رُسُلهِ و سايرَ ما يَكونُ مِنهُم مِنَ الفَسادِ و القَتلِ و القَذفِ و الزِّنا وَ قِلَّةُ‌ الاحتِجاز مِن شَيءٍ مِنَ المَحارِم فَبذلِكَ قَضَينا عَلي كُلِّ مُسكرٍ مِن الاشربةِ اَنّهُ حَرامٌ مُحَرَّمٌ لِانّه يَأتي من عاقِبَتها مَا يأتي مِن عاقبةِ الخَمر
'' God has made wine haram (prohibited) because it causes corruption and the change of the mind of drunkards. It also cause that they deny the pure nature of God, abuse God and his messengers and other sins such as corruption, murdering, insulting and adultery. Hence, it is ordered that any kinds of alcoholic drinks is haram because such drinks have consequences the same as wine''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
شارِبُ الخَمرِ كَعابدِ وَ ثَنٍ يا عَلي شارِبُ الخَمر لا يَقبَلُ اللهُ عزَّ و جلَّ صلاتَهُ اَربعينَ يَوماً، فَان ماتَ فِي الاَربعينَ ماتَ كافِرا
'' A drunkard is like an idol worshipper. O' Ali! God does accept the prayer of a drunkard for forty years and if he or she dies in the fortieth day of drinking wine, he or she has dies like an unbeliever''.
Hazrat Fateme Zahra (peace be upon her) states
جَعلَ اللهَ ) النَّهيَ عَن شُربِ الخَمرِ تَنزيها عَنِ الرِّجس
'' God had prohibited drinking wine because we avoid vices''.
Imam Reza (peace be upon him) states
لا تُجالِسُ شارِبَ الخَمرِ و لا تُسِّلِم عَلَيهِ
'' Don't socialize with a person that drinks wine and don't say hello to him''.
The consequences of friendship with a person that drinks wine:
When the Muslims got tired of the unpleasant behaviors and strict rules of Ghoreaish Tribe, some of them migrated to Abyssinian according to the order of the prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants). Ghoreish Tribe sent Umarv As and Amareh Bin Valid to Najashi, the king of Abyssinian, with a lot of gifts in order to kill them or make them come back. When they were there for few days, they had wine with them and drank it. The wife of Umarv Bin As with him in this travel. When Amare was drunk, he desired to his wife. He said to the wife of Umarv As '' kiss me''. Umarv As that was drunk with drinking wine said to his wife '' kiss Amare''. Amare became interested in the woman and tried to find a chance to have a sexual intercourse with her, but she refused. Umarv As was peeing on the edge of the ship. Amare pushed him into water from back, but Umarv As arrived the edge of the ship and saved. He understood that Amare had wanted to kill him. Then he had animosity toward him. When they arrived Abyssinian, Amare socialized with the wife of Najashi. Whenever he met her, he told the story for Umarv As. Umarv As said '' I don't believe your remarks if you don’t bring any evidence in order prove your remarks because she is not a woman that is deceived by you. If you tell the truth, you should request her to give you the special perfume of Najashi because I can recognize the special perfume of Najashi. When they met each other again, he brought some of the perfume of Najashi. Umarv As said '' now I confirm your remarks and encouraged him to such an ugly action more. Umarv As tried to meet Najashi in the first chance, showed the sample of perfume and explained the matter. After Najashi discovered the reality, he ordered to mercury pour in the sex organ of Amare.
Don't trust him and don't give your property to him as trust:
Esmaeil, the child of Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him), had some property. A man from Ghoerish Tribe wanted to go toward Yemen for business. Esmaeil came to his father and said '' such a person is going to Yemen and I have this amount of money. Does you think that it is prudent that I give this property to him so that he can buy some goods, sells and them gives me some profits?
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) stated '' O' my child! Haven't you heard that this person is drunkard?'' Esmaeil said '' the people said such remarks''. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said '' don't trust him and don't leave your property to him''. Esmaeil didn't accept the advice of his father and left his property to him. He went to Yemen, usurped his property and when he came back, he gave him nothing.
Esmaeil along with Imam Ali (peace be upon him) went to Hajj. One day when he was circling around the house of God, he prayed and said '' grant me reward and mercy for property that I have lost''.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) came to him and said '' O' my child! I swear there will be no reward and reprimand for the property that you have lost because you trusted a person that others said that he was a drunkard.
Esmaeil said '' O' my father! I didn't see with my eyes that he was a drunkard and other persons said such a thing.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said '' when a group of believers attest in your presence, you should confirm them and do not trust a drunkard''.
Harun Bin Jaham said '' When Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) came to Mansur Davaniqi in Haireh, I was in his service''. One of military commanders had his son circumcised and had some guests. Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) was one of persons that had attended the party. When Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) was eating food, there were some persons there. A person wanted a dis of wine to bring for him. When the man received the dish of wine, Imam Ali (peace be upon him) stood up and left there. When he was asked about its reason, he said ''
مَلعُونٌ مَلعوُنٌ مَن جَلسَ طائِعاً عَلي مائِدَةٍ يَشرَبُ عَلَيها الخَمر
'' A person that sits in a table that wine is drunk is cursed and is cursed''.
14. Abusers
The fourteenth norm for the recognition of a bad friend is that he or she doesn't abuse others. Islam considers abusing haram because it will have the consequences of the world and the afterlife. Hence, it prevents its disciples from abusing.
There are a lot of narrations from innocent Imams (peace be upon them) about this matter and some of them will be mentioned
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
اَلجنَّةُ حَرامٌ علي كُلِّ فاحِشٍ اَن يَدخُلَها
''The heaven is haram for a person that abuses others''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
اِيّاكُم و الفُحشَ فَانَّ اللهَ عزَّ و جلَّ لا يُحِبُّ الفاحِش َالمُتَفَحِّشَ
'' Avoid abusing because God doesn't love that a person that abuses and searches and abuses''.
Imam Baqer (peace be upon him) states
سِلاحُ اللِئام قَبيحُ الكَلام
'' The weapon of a mean person is its ugly remarks''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
اِنَّ اللهَ حَرَّمَ الجَنّةَ علَي كُلِّ فَحّاشٍ بَذيءٍ قَليلَ الحَياءِ لايُبالي ما قالَ و لا ما قيلَ لَهُ
''God has made the heaven haram for a shameless abuser that is not afraid of whatever he or she says and hears''.
The prophet of the Islam (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
اِنَّ مِن شرِّ عبادِ اللهِ مَن تُكرَهُ مُجالَستُةُ لِفُحشهِ
''The worst persons of God are persons that abuse and others avoid socializing with him''.
Loqman said to his child
يا بُنَيِّ لا يَغُرَّنَّكَ خَبيثَ اللّسانِ، فَانَّهُ يُختَمُ عَلي قَلبهِ وَ تَتَكلَّمُ جَوارِحُهُ وَ تَشهَدُ علَيهِ
'' O' My child! A person that abuses others shouldn't deceive you because his or her heart is sealed and its body members say and attest against him''.
An anecdote:
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) said '' there was a man in Bani Esraeil that prayed for three years consistently that God gave him a child, but his prayer was not accepted. When he saw that God did not accept his prayer, he said '' O' God! Am I far from you that you do not hear my remarks or you are close to me, but you do not answer me? ''
A person came to him in his sleep and said to him '' you have been calling God with bad and vulgar words, disobedient and impious heart and false intentions for three years. Hence, you should avoid saying vulgar words, your heart become pious and your intention becomes right so that your prayer is accepted''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) said '' the man acted the order. Then he prayed, summoned God and had a son''.
Therefore, God does not like vulgar words and does not like such a person. A person had a need from for three years, but God refused him because he used abuse words. Hence, this means that God does not like a person that abuse others and a person should not make friendship with a person that abuses others.
Get away from me:
Umarv Bin Naman said '' Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) had a friend that he did not leave him alone and did not separate him. One day he along with Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) was going in the mall of shoes. His servant that was from Send was following them. Suddenly the man looked back and he needed his servant, but he did not see him. He called him three times, but he did not find him. Then he came back, saw him and said '' o' person that has been born from an adulterous mother! Where were you?''
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) hit his forehead with his hand and said '' are you accusing her mother of an adulteress? I imagined that you were a pious person, but now I see that you are not pious''. He said '' I sacrifice for you. His mother is a polytheistic woman''. Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) said '' haven't you heard that each nation has its marriage customs. Get away from me''. The narrator of the Hadith says '' I did not see that he walked along with Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) any more until death separated them.
15. Cutting relationships with relatives
All scientists agree that cutting relationships with relatives is one of big sins and it leads to the tortures of the afterlife and the troubles of the world. We should not make friendship with persons that cut their relationships with relatives because if we think deeply, you will understand that a person that separate his or her relatives be faithful to strangers and others or will a person that cuts his or her relationship with a mother that has breastfed him or her and has kept him or her from any dangers and troubles or a father that has supported him and his or her sisters and brothers be faithful to his or her friend. Anyway, judgment is left to you.
Imam Zain Al-Abedin (peace be upon him) states
وَ اِيّاكَ و مُصاحَبةَ القاطعِ لِرَحمهِ فَانِّي وَجدتُه مَلعوُناً في كتابِ اللهِ عزَّ و جلَّ في ثَلاثةِ مَواضِعَ
'' Do not make friendship with a persons that cuts his or her relationship with relatives because I have understood that he or she is cursed in three situations''.