Talking with scholar Sayyed Mohammad Fazlollah concerning woman in the Quran

Question 1: The first question is due to the fact that the language of the Koran is Arabic - which more than any language differentiates between male and female; as East experts say and out of the examples of this distinction is distinguishing female or female plural “Noon” therefore, to what extend Islam has been by this issue as a linguistic one between male and female?
Answer: Each language represents the same society where he lives. Since the man and woman are two distinct types - at least in appearance and external reality – then, pointing out to this difference with bringing the male and female expression will not have any problem? Therefore, this action will not have any harm to male and female. In Arabic language male plural against female plural “‘Noon” does not have any message to show superiority of one and inferiority of another. This notion that bringing male and female word in the language, is against the women, it is a childish imagination and its origin is a type of mental passivity called self-scape because, distinguishing man from women in language is for physical differentiation and this reflects the difference of a sex type however, there is no negative point in it so that we want to ignore it. But, overcoming male to female in pluralizing surely backs to a culture that the language is derived from that thus, a culture in which male was superior to female but, this does not just dedicated to Arabic Culture and in other languages similar to that can be seen it not only the reality of man’s superiority was not especial to ignorant communities in pre-Islam but also, this phenomenon was among all the nations of the world. Although Islam has used this Arabic role but, Islam’s rules are not after this theory thus, Islam has addressed men and women with interpretations such as oh believers (male &female) and has not made a distinction between them in terms of rights and requirements except in some features that necessitates diversity between the two kinds of man, something that is clear in the legal system of Islam.
Question 2: Including this positive look at the woman, there is explanations in the Quran that is incompatible with female characters as human beings, such as "sexual intercourse" or "under". How do you interpret these relations between men and women?
Answer: About the term "sexual intercourse" we had to refer to nature of language as a living being language. Words in the language have birth and death, depending on the social situation, the term Vatu, in Arabic means to trample underfoot however, this word was coined in ignorant society which represented the male and female relation in this way but, after that changed and from the original meaning was changed to other meanings, that’s why, the status the men and women have in sexual activity however, by this change, the offensive aspects of the meaning of the term completely faded. Because, there is no stepping on this word, but also used in this modern sense. Therefore, Quran’s using of this term will not impose any insult on the women and does not pinpoint to woman’s inferiority. About the phrase "under" is the same. To be under, here is not meant inferior but, it is a perception of the conventional mode during sexual activity and this word has evolved from specific meaning to general. As result, the adoption of this interpretation in The Quran does not indicate woman's superiority.
Question3: Is the Quran’s defense in favor of men against women? Does it mean the same man’s superiority over the women which have been the same dominant thought in the history? Isn’t it due to the inequality of the man and woman in the Quran?
Answer: The word “superiority’ implies on several meanings therefore, you must understand the intended meaning of the text with available evidence in the context through details. The Holy Quran regarding people superiority to each other spoke by the same words, it says; “God has lead some of you over the others in terms of food”. This type of superiority is in blessing, not in the value. Elsewhere in the same meaning Quran says “we preferred you to all the world [addressing the Jewish community] and it relates to elaboration on the blessing and this is not due to the available symmetry in the verse so, you are given something that is not given to others. [Verse] “The men are in charge of women, because Allah has preferred some of them to some others so, it means man’s superiority in a field and its management of family life however, due to opposite happening symmetry, Because superiority is a brief word with various meanings of blessing, the role and duty, but does not imply on all these things together . But, in any functional sense, implies on one concept that in this verse the Quran equivalence is available,
Question4: Islam has retained many of the pre-Islamic traditions (such as seals, of divorce types and etc.), of course with adjustments in some cases, what does justify the existence of these provisions while we know that Islam, in its views, is in struggle with ignorance?
Answer: All the traditions of ignorance has not been made by the ignorance period itself and many of those traditions had remained the divine teachings of the prophets of the past but, by distortion of its human basic sense; Islam came and reinstated some of general human rules that contained religious or logical basis, made balance in some of them, such as dowry that Islam has taken it out of woman’s value and considered it a gift by man to the woman and so is in all the case.

Woman and right of education:

Question 5: Some argue that the importance of the role of women as mother requires that she basically dedicates herself to teach what is related to this problem; does Islam have such a view?
Answer: Knowledge in Islam is human dignity for all people and is considered a criterion for individuals’ superiority so, Quran says:
“Are those who know and those who don’t, are equal?”
“Only the owners of pure reason learn {from the past]”.
Knowledge for men and women brings equal value and the importance of education for men and women is no different. Imam Ali (AS) says: “The value of each person is as much as his/her expertise” Therefore, Quran when considers the addition of knowledge, says: oh God “ add to my knowledge” or where it encourages thinking, says “ they [man&woman] are thinking about the way sky and earth have been built’” Quran’s addressees is not just women although the language rule is male, both male and female are addressees because , fom Islam’s view point each person, woman or man are independently responsible to of his/her faith in God and the Day of Judgment that faith is not an acceptable matter of imitation and because achievement of faith needs reason and gaining knowledge to broaden the horizons of thought and perception, so women like men must expand their intellectual capabilities. Since Islam considers men and women equal in humanity so, it recognizes both of them equally responsible for this role so, the superiority of one over the other in the acquisition of knowledge and its degree and nature of sciences that learn is not logical. This idea that women, like men, are responsible before God goes back to formally recognition of Women's Freedom in thought and will. And this idea that woman must strengthen their ability to overcome their weaknesses in order to prevent her diversion and stand against the threats of the outside world thus, these are things that knowledge to a large extent can contribute to man to achieve them, both for women and for men. The emphasis on the role of women as a mother does not mean that knowledge and his life is in this unique role, so that anything not to be related to this matter, for him is banned, as some think, but women as human beings needs all the benefits of science and not to some of its limited aspects. The Arguing that psychic and intellectual abilities of woman is limit is also an oppressive remark and abuse of women therefore this claim is not a humanistic claim. Almighty God created men and women so that they ,within the framework of their properties , get evolved together but, considering this, God has given them responsibility apart from the others; the of responsibility requires that each of man and woman to have , ability, freedom, freedom of thought and activity . As passed, if the mother’s job requires that the woman grow its capabilities in this area, the father’s duty demands that to expand some special abilities in himself. These characteristics are not an obstacle that they, to exchange their roles, have had preparation in this level; as a result there is no justification for the difference between men and women in terms of knowledge and not in terms of subject matter, nature of science and the scientific level that they get it.
Question 5: Apart from the fact that what is Islam’s view about education, there are barriers to women's education in community, such as inappropriate women’s mixing with men , or their travel individually so, these are common barriers to women’s education. What is Islam's view on this issue?
Answer: men and women’s talk is not generally prohibited, only is prohibited in cases that lead to diversion that his is not a barrier to women's education is not, but, there must be rules that protect men and women while educating equally. But, woman’s travel to study and get a profession does not have religious barrier as it dies not have for men. The travel condition for women and men are the same and that condition is that in the scientific expedition, social or political, he or she , must have the ability to continence and commitment to religion and ethics so that she doesn’t afraid of religious and moral deviation. As a result, there is nothing to prohibit woman from getting to the scientific perfection - if he wants.

Women and work for livelihood:]

Question 6: What is Islam’s position regarding women for a living?
Answer: According to Islam, women in every legitimate field have a right to work, so as the man has the right to work in every legitimate field then, she can work in a farm or factory, in trading activities or other fields of society. The Achievement of the woman’s effort belongs to herself, as the man’s payment belongs to him and no one has the right to get the benefit of his work but, the woman herself is an independent creature who has her own work as she owns all the benefits of that work. So any man, weather to be father or husband or son, does not have the right to ownership her properties. Men have the share of what have achieved, and women [also] from what they have gained, have the shares therefore, so, man is master of his property, so are women dominate on what they earn. When we pursue the issue further, we will see that Islam considers woman’s effort as the director of the home, worthy of wages, so, she can ask for the wages from her husband, because Islamic law does not force to housework’s after marriage. Marriage just causes a certain relationship between couples and out of this relationship; she is a man who owns all the work and their income. Islam also has gone further than this and allowed the woman that if she wants to get money for milking the child; the men have to pay them alimony as well as to pay for milking.

Gender equality in wages:

Question 7: Is there clear statement in the Quran concerning the gender payment while other Islamic texts deal with it? (Verse) Oh, those who have believed, fulfill the contracts you have made. This verse is addressing the believing men and women and asks them to fulfill each contract they have made, without making difference between men and women. And in verse of Rezae, clearly has mentioned the right of mother’s milking and her payment in return for it. (verse)
And if [the women] milk for you the [baby], pay for them, and competently consult among yourselves and if your problem got worse again] another woman milk the baby , it means the woman has naturally the right to be paid, but if they disagreed over the amount she charged to breastfeed the child and women wanted more, then the father can choose another woman to breastfeed her child. Islam has not talked about the work which is specific to men however, the Laws that work, and not make any distinction between types of things. That exist about work all are public and no difference between men and women has not been made so, we can perceive of this Islam’s treatment that Islam does not make a differentiation between man and woman. This point also makes another thing clear for us; Islam in doing a task does not differentiate in terms of payment, especially between men and women on the contrary to what is common in some countries or industrial and agricultural centers of today nevertheless, the Employers, in these centers employ more women to work and the only reason is that women apply for less money, and thus they are paid less money. In Islam there is no such thing as a woman or a man’s payment that how much man and how much woman receives but, women and men are equal and the amount of payment for each of them is determined by the employer. Therefore, there is no problem, neither in terms of the law nor the marriage contract. Also, concerning the woman’s employment, there is no room for this question whether it is permissible or not, or what kind of work she can does and what she does not , and also, how much is her payment or what percent?

Disobedience and violence against women:

Question 8: If the woman has also right of sex on her wife then is it justifiable that the husband, at the time of woman’s avoidance, beat her so, isn’t it harm to woman?
Answer: First of all, the right of man’s punishment of woman, while women’s’ refusing, goes back to this issue that couple relation is legal, religious and social to satisfy sexual instincts on the conditions that they do not require sexual relation with each other if the woman disobey in this way, whether in transient marriage or eternal, for example a short time or long, stay away from her husband, the man’s deviation is provided. So, the man must resort to one of the following ways:
- Advice and preaching, in any possible way
- Stay in bed, mental punishment;
- Marriage with another woman, but this option is not a solution, because the problem may also be repeated in a second marriage, too
- Complaint before the law, but the law can not force the women to do some ting , because no law can enforce this sentence on woman
- The last way is divorce which is more escaping the problem rather than of solving it.
Against these option that are not often the solution, when women listen to advice and not to be realized man’s scape, man has the right to appeal the woman based on the validity of this verse that says,
“Advice the women who you fear their refusal to sexual submission, avoid them on the bed, [if these methods fell ineffective] punish them, but if they accepted no longer you seek further methods. “ Commentators on this verse have argued that punishment should not be severe, so that she gets injured or to break her bones, and any harm should not be made on her face. Thus, punishment becomes a solution to this hot and familial problem in the family and marital life and there is no excuse for violence against women, for example the man is not allowed to punish the woman for not doing homework , or why she has not done the works related to children because , these things are never the responsibility of women thus, for any other purpose she does not have the right to punish her but , punishment(also with restrictions) is special solution for this particular problem that threatens to collapse the family organ. Couple that with love, responsibility alimony and management does the life affairs, has the right to solve the problem correction punishment, so that he can protect the organization of marital life from destruction risk and saves his life and his wife’s life from destruction. Islam does not have an idealistic outlook toward men , women and marriage as if they are two angels, as some think, but also, Islam has a realistic outlook at men and women, with all its bitterness and sweats. Punishment, although emotionally is accounted as something brutal and aggressive merely – of course, if a man intends to oppress women is not so; the man who considers himself perfect and beastly punishes the woman but, punishment in special way is a wise action not aggressive, because the aim of this plan is reformative. In other words, we should not look at the means without paying attention to its intended purpose, the value of the means is depending on the purpose and the type of its device, so if the purpose is saving the family from danger, the device although seems aggressive , in terms of objective, is reasonable and logical. On the other hand, such a preventive program makes any woman not to enter into level of disobedience, which has led to family destruction, any correctional or retaliation plan actually has two dimensions: the first one, dealing with the crime to establish truth and justice and the second dimension is to stop the one who wants to do a crime.
Question 8: Is the criminal law of the world that considers human interests, if the public interest requires it, does consider punishment of (criminal or the accused) despising of the human and incompatible with her/his dignity? Isn’t it assault to humanity when we punish our children at the time they do wrong, Does it mean we dislike them?
We emphasize on this point that except in disobedience, no man is permissible to punish and it doesn’t differ he is husband, father, brother, uncle, and no one has the right to beat her.
Question 9: Is it possible that sexual problem to be a required case for woman and even if she was not inclined to it, to stay humble before the husband?
Answer: The sexual instinct is a natural human need; like eating and drinking. The purpose of its obligation within marital relations, is protection of the purity of women and men, as we said before, when this instinct needs to be satisfied, there is no room for refusal because rejection leads both to deviation; In particular, men more than women are stimulated and way for his downfall under this pressure is more provided, so the woman’s force by the man to demand sexual need is normal right and there is no room for surprise.
Question 10: Is man’s right for the punishment, which has been stated in the Quran, is incompatible with outlook of female partner?
Answer: When the woman enters into marital life, in fact, she has chosen this life; without someone force her and undoubtedly she knows that the husband humanly and legally has the right on him. She, in this point, can accept or reject the marriage. Woman, when marriage is pronounced, she commits to the devices of the contract and covenant and her husband contract her as the man after marriage adheres to his responsibilities. So, human life is on the basis of contracts of the parties as well as the mutual responsibilities therefore, woman’s partnership means her commitment to things that this partnership is required otherwise, her rebelliousness at the time of man’s sexual demand, or leads to divorce or a new marriage and ultimately deviation ,that any of these is in fact, a harm to the women. The correct look at the problem is that, that’s why we see the issue precisely in its own framework, without opposing the one hand, and the neglecting of other aspects.
Question 11: If the man has the right to punish his wife for fulfillment of his goals, when he refused to pay her payments, what should the woman do?
Answer: To answer this question, I agree with Ayatollah Mohammed al-Hakim and martyr Muhammad Baqir al-Sadr, when the man lacks sexual desire and does not respond to the sexual needs of his wife, the woman also has the right to refuse to pay the right man, then the woman is entitled to refuse to do her responsibility toward the man but, because the man is the head of the family, the woman can not punisher him.
Question 12: Does your talk allow the woman to leave her husband’s home if the life, due to external factors, or pressure and oppression of husband is unbearable however, we know that women are not given the authority for divorce?.
Answer: The inside –home conditions, how difficult is, the woman has no right to leave her husband's house and refuses his right because the woman through marriage has adhered to these rights which has become an agreement. But, if the husband himself neglects the humanly right of women and oppress her then, she will have the right to take a complaint to someone who can put him under pressure to keep balance in life but, if the life with that husband came to the deadline, she can complain to the judge, and the judge can find a way for her to escape, divorce and saving her?

Polygamy and making justice

Question 13: Islam permits a man to have four wife at the same time,. Why four? Furthermore, will not be polygamy, meant as lowering a woman from human state of and violation of home and secure environment of the house?
Answer: polygamy is what the human nature, men and women alike; require or necessitate it and its available positive aspects more than its negative aspects, is considered to this reason in the law of religion. The reason for this issue is that polygamy in male-female relationships is a system that has been implemented since the past to the present, both publicly and openly or silently and secretly, for example in the civilized society, the number of men who as marriage or anything else who has been convinced to one woman are only less than ten percent. Moreover, history is full of illegitimate relations between men and women beside the legal relationship. All of these lead to the fact that the need to polygamy is a substantial and crucial need. The origin of this need or exists within the man and her sexual needs or from outside or specific conditions where women and men live in; such as unproductivity and diseases, so, the fundamentality of this need shows that only with the administration of a woman (and no more) the way for deviation will be opened and the problems will emerge that is much greater than the negative aspects of polygamy. To these reasons, the administration of polygamy, according to the advantages having for men and women equally, will not be a degradation for the position of women at human level as well as extortion and disrupting her security provided that Islamic justice are being done and unless the marriage is viewed as property relations or material based. In this case, based on the rule of equity participation, the presence of another partner for the woman, will lead to reduce her share.
Question 14: Islam permits polygamy under the condition of doing justice, however, confesses that this condition is not met easily and it is impossible, the Quran says;
So if you afraid that you can not do justice [just] then, you’d better marry only one woman. Thus, despite the fact that Quran has considered the fulfillment of justice impossible, how is it possible that this tradition has remained yet?
Answer: justice is of two kinds: justice in alimony and justice in the heartfelt desire. The first goal of the first verse is justice in alimony and not justice in the heartfelt that in the second verse is emphasized on its impossibility. But in the verse, its appearance is prescribing the frequency of wives, not imposing. Yes, the man is obliged to do justice in external tasks but, justice in emotion is not obligatory, because it is not possible, because it is out of the person’s control but, what is required in association with others, is act to commitments, and not obeying affection that is non-optional issue.
Question 15: if the man failed to do justice, what is the law’s solution concerning polygamy?
Answer: The plan of law is the obligation to observe the law, but if in a society the law was limited and its laws were not implemented then, neither can we solve this problem nor others.
Question 16: If the Islam has brought the polygamy, why this right is given only to men?
Answer: The family, according to Islam, revolves around the father, he is the house manager and all the home affairs are within his hands and children are attributed to Father so, polygamy is justified for man and is not justified for women. By multitude of husbands, the female children will have the problem to who will be attributed. In addition, polygamy is not accounted as the psychological need for women. Join evidence, because except in very few cases, polygamy has not been common and accepted, also those rare cases did not turn into practical law. Another reason for polygamy is lack of gender balance. This benefited woman after wars, disasters and deaths, the number of men is reduced. In addition, more and more fundamental problem in the legislation of polygamy for men and not for women is a clear difference between the two which exist in their sexual instinct; therefore, Man faster and harder than the women is stimulated, thereby polygamy for men is sometimes serious problem, but not for women. That is why we see that loyalty among women to husband is more than men.
Question 17: Islam considers blasphemy of the jealous of the woman, how is it possible that God considers blasphemy the jealous of woman in proportion to polygamy of the husband, which is a natural feeling?
Answer: God does not punish people based on their internal feelings, and only when these feelings comes out in a clear manners and treatment, will lead to blasphemy may be punished. Women often suffer from husband’s polygamy but, because of the public positive aspects nature of human requires that, she must overcome this feeling and understand this positive aspect so that this personal feeling would hurt her.

Woman and religious reference:

Question 18: up to where is the religious authority that a woman can get? Can a girl be a mujtahid or religious oracle?
Answer: the Fundamental rules of Jurisprudence is not incompatible with this rule that woman becomes a religious authority if she is in the highest degree of diligence and justice and the jurists the most knowledgeable of them, so if we consider the knowledge, then she would be deserved to this position. To this reason, the verses that speak of this issue, does not specify something but also, considers enough concordance with the fact and harmony with that - if we said that rational rule does not need to the sign of lawyer because , the lawyer in this area, like other is based on the reason; this is what the Lord says, and it is not permissible that all believers migrate [for jihad]. So, why from every sect of them a small group does not migrate to learn about the religion and fear of his people? This verse make people ask question of The elites because the culture of the Muslims is culture of "remembrance" that the ignorant visits oracle , referring that , "If you do not know , ask the people that , it means that refer to scholars as any ignorant comes to scholar in order to take advantage of him and add to his/her knowledge, so when Quran says, forcibly, people have to come to the knowledge base of their religion in order to teach profound knowledge of their religion and learn about religion and as result when they return to their own people , who are in need to religious science, fear them and could keep themselves up with religious issues. Even traditions that scholars refer them are not compatible with women’s discretion. This means when the religious Leader came to the degree of knowledge and his participation in knowledge was helpful in religious order and was trusted by the people then people have to imitate him and put him a religious reference for their own so, there is no difference between men and women in the field.
Question 19: Doesn’t get the woman’s hijab for her imitator an obstacle as well as a bulwark for her followers?
Answer: Some jurists have the same opinion, but we are not opposed to this idea according to us, referring to women ,in religious orders, is possible and they can ask her the question behind the cover. In the history of Islam, we read that there were active women and were met by men and interacted with them in a variety of issues.
Fatemeh Zahra went to the mosque and eloquently gave speech to the people and defended Islam’s principal issues of that time. If true, she stepped on among the Emigrants and the Helpers went to prove the legitimacy of Ali (PBUH) also met the first and second caliph, when they came to visit her for this purpose, in addition to lifestyle show, the women with God Messenger (PBUH) and the Imams (AS) were speaking so, All of these imply that it is really possible for a woman ,by keeping the moral aspects , enter social and cultural life and there is no a barrier that a woman becomes a religious authority and people refer to her for imitation If she has had the ability and competence that distinguishes her from men. Some scholars believe that the authority wants a special space that normally, men are living there but, the issue of authority is something and issue of ignorant to the scholar is something else that she can answer the people’s questions from behind the cover.
Question 20: If authority is possible for women, why did not we have concrete examples?
Answer: Society always until now has been run been men. The woman has not been allowed to get to this position, or that she has not been allowed to nominate herself for authority so, the women have not had the man’s opportunity in order to get to this position. That's why, when we read in some of narrations that say “look at your men” it refers more to external reality because at that time, there were no female religious scholar.

The size of woman’s cover

Question 21: What is the amount necessary for covering the woman and what are verses fallen in this field?
Answer: the answer of Holy Quran points to the necessity of covering body for women and says: they should not reveal their ornaments except the parts that are apparent by their own. The aim of ornament, in this verse, is part of a woman's body, not objects like bracelets, necklaces, earrings, etc. In other words, the purpose in this verse is the body; that God has adorned the woman’s body, it is an apparent reference to this fact that the woman’s body is the center attraction for man. For this reason Almighty God has asked the woman the man to cover her body from men, except for its appearance, which is the face and the palm of the hands, according to some, and others have added on feet, too.
Question 22: So, from when on covering the face, has been customized?
Answer: This tradition is out of new phenomenon among the Muslims and the Muslims when dealing with other cultures has been affected by that.
Question 23: did the Prophet’s wives cover her hands?
Answer: we have no reason for this perhaps we can find reason against it
Question 24: When do women is exempted from wearing hijab?
Answer: There is no time when the woman to be exempted from wearing Hijab, unless while she is wearing Hijab, a danger threaten her or face the risk of divorce by his wife and divorce caused her difficulty, in this case, she can lower some of her veil.
Question 25: While women get out of irritating states of men (due to face ugliness or old age, and the like) is she still assigned to wear hijab, cover the body and hiding the effects of her beauty?
Answer: Yes, in these situations, still Hijab is necessary because legislation and universal law is over all. Moreover, not being provocative according to some, does not mean being provocative for everyone who is completely devoid of character. Question 26: has Hijab been determined absolutely or it is custom which defines it?
Answer: Hijab in religion has clear sentences and has not been given to custom diagnosis it means that the woman must except her face and her hands, cover all her body and she must not goes out in a way that it seems make-up. For this reason, the religious cover in any country has been come out as conventional clothing, for example the Arabs consider "cloak" and the Persians Chador as Islamic cover so, and all these issues back to the customs of various countries. Question 27: Is the cover that represents the woman’s femininity moderately, is acceptable?
Answer: We can not answer to question, because this question has been covered in ambiguity. How moderation and non-moderation is determined in this problem? In the people’s eyes, moderation is something relative therefore; something in the view of people is moderate and in others’ view is not nevertheless, if we read Holy Quran in this field, there are three cases: Ornament, adornment and creating greed. If the dress of woman, not to be the case of ornament and adornment and does not cause sexual excite in men, we can say it is a true norm for religious Hijab.

Love and marriage:

Question 28: What is the dead line for the importance of love and friendship in marriage; the couple's friendship as well as the love between the children?
Answer: One of the most important human infrastructures based on which human builds the framework of his relations is "friendship". Friendship is emotional bond with those of others who their nature is separate from our essence. Since this relationship is based on the need to link them, the essence need shapes the person to link with the outside world especially with most important being of the universe that’s why human is diverse nature of love and friendship like paternal and maternal friendship. As the love arousing element of love and friendship is different; some people are enchanted by the beauty of beloved and some other by morality and attracts the people toward the beloved whether that beloved is a friend or a close friend and perhaps a relative. So, friendship and love between men and women, is an important element of the underlying elements of marriage, provided that this friendship not to be illusory and based on the pressure of sexual desire in this way, this friendship will get cold and this friendship can not be sufficed marriage therefor, marital life will turn into a common life. But, when the two sides love each other, this feeling will overcome all obstacles between them. In this case, the two sides will accept each other. The good example that Quran provides in his field is likening the man and woman to each other's cloth which regards that “Every one wears another like clothing, from all sides, which means that saturate all the feelings, desires and each other's needs” it is natural that feeling bilateral friendship, will enrich the lives of men and women and will cause more family grow. As a result, it will give them the courage to scarify in the way of each other’s happiness and develop their relationship better day by day. The relationship founded based on mutual lovely relation of couple, will also affect on children because the relationship between the father and the mother directly affects children and will contribute to creating an emotional harmony among family. Its exhibition is that each of family members perform his or her responsible well however, perhaps this atmosphere of harmony and intimacy is what you imply from this verse from the Quran. From the sign of his power is that from your own sex, created for you the wives that you find peace with them and [God] created friendship and mercy between you. Almighty Allah, in this verse, relies on aspects of intimacy, which is the same friendship, as well as the element of the mercy that each with a realistic outlook has deemed the opponent side and understands him, and perceives the position, motives and emotions, and these love achievements will be one after the other.
Question 29: How is it possible that married couple after marriage deepen their love?
Answer: When we speak about love as a humanly emotion - that makes relationship between men and women, and as an instinctive feeling that leads the male and female toward each other in this case, this humanly feeling is also subject to general laws that include other human feelings, too. As result, we can say what increases the love between a couples is the same thing that increases man’s love to each other. Then, the couple can attempt to gain positive human traits and every day more than the past develop those features so that they can keep up themselves with their own partner of life along with beauty, spirituality and humanity in fact, this is the way of mutual life increase to each other. The existence of such a relationship between husband and wife is only the sole guarantor of wide and deep relationship between both of them, but the loves relying on sexual instinct, things that are common in the modern love stories that bring together men and women can not be deep and widespread. In such situation, the infedility or cold temperament emerges that will frail the marital relationship and will end to divorce.