The role of honesty in the growth and efficiency of a family

Honesty is one of effective attributes in family relationships that provide the ground of trust and the establishment of strong relationships. According to psychological analysis, honesty is a behavior and a remark that a person does not have a motivation and a purpose in contrast with remarks and behaviors. In other words, a person talks honestly and clearly.
Lack of honesty in couples leads family atmosphere to pessimism and lack of trust and provides the ground of disagreement. The religious Imams emphasize on honesty and avoidance of falsity due to the effect of falsity on the eradication of trust in relationships among persons. Quran considers falsity as one of the signs of lack of faith in God
إِنَّمَا یَفْتَرِی الْكَذِبَ الَّذِینَ لَا یُؤْمِنُونَ بِآیَاتِ اللَّهِ ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْكَاذِبُونَ
It is those who believe not in the Signs of Allah, that forge falsehood: it is they who lie.
ضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا عَبْدًا مَّمْلُوكًا لَّا یَقْدِرُ عَلَىٰ شَیْءٍ وَمَن رَّزَقْنَاهُ مِنَّا رِزْقًا حَسَنًا فَهُوَ یُنفِقُ مِنْهُ سِرًّا وَجَهْرًا ۖ هَلْ یَسْتَوُونَ ۚ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ ۚ بَلْ أَكْثَرُهُمْ لَا یَعْلَمُونَ
Allah sets forth the Parable (of two men: one) a slave under the dominion of another; He has no power of any sort; and (the other) a man on whom We have bestowed goodly favours from Ourselves, and he spends thereof (freely), privately and publicly: are the two equal? (By no means;) praise be to Allah. But most of them understand not.
وَضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا رَّجُلَیْنِ أَحَدُهُمَا أَبْكَمُ لَا یَقْدِرُ عَلَىٰ شَیْءٍ وَهُوَ كَلٌّ عَلَىٰ مَوْلَاهُ أَیْنَمَا یُوَجِّههُّ لَا یَأْتِ بِخَیْرٍ ۖ هَلْ یَسْتَوِی هُوَ وَمَن یَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ ۙ وَهُوَ عَلَىٰ صِرَاطٍ مُّسْتَقِیمٍ
Allah sets forth (another) Parable of two men: one of them dumb, with no power of any sort; a wearisome burden is he to his master; whichever way be directs him, he brings no good: is such a man equal with one who commands Justice, and is on a Straight Way.
وَاللَّهُ جَعَلَ لَكُم مِّن بُیُوتِكُمْ سَكَنًا وَجَعَلَ لَكُم مِّن جُلُودِ الْأَنْعَامِ بُیُوتًا تَسْتَخِفُّونَهَا یَوْمَ ظَعْنِكُمْ وَیَوْمَ إِقَامَتِكُمْ ۙ وَمِنْ أَصْوَافِهَا وَأَوْبَارِهَا وَأَشْعَارِهَا أَثَاثًا وَمَتَاعًا إِلَىٰ حِینٍ
It is Allah Who made your habitations homes of rest and quiet for you; and made for you, out of the skins of animals, (tents for) dwellings, which ye find so light (and handy) when ye travel and when ye stop (in your travels); and out of their wool, and their soft fibres (between wool and hair), and their hair, rich stuff and articles of convenience (to serve you) for a time.
اللَّهُ جَعَلَ لَكُم مِّمَّا خَلَقَ ظِلَالًا وَجَعَلَ لَكُم مِّنَ الْجِبَالِ أَكْنَانًا وَجَعَلَ لَكُمْ سَرَابِیلَ تَقِیكُمُ الْحَرَّ وَسَرَابِیلَ تَقِیكُم بَأْسَكُمْ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ یُتِمُّ نِعْمَتَهُ عَلَیْكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُسْلِمُونَ
It is Allah Who made out of the things He created, some things to give you shade; of the hills He made some for your shelter; He made you garments to protect you from heat, and coats of mail to protect you from your (mutual) violence. Thus does He complete His favours on you, that ye may bow to His Will (in Islam).
وَیَوْمَ نَبْعَثُ فِی كُلِّ أُمَّةٍ شَهِیدًا عَلَیْهِم مِّنْ أَنفُسِهِمْ ۖ وَجِئْنَا بِكَ شَهِیدًا عَلَىٰ هَٰؤُلَاءِ ۚ وَنَزَّلْنَا عَلَیْكَ الْكِتَابَ تِبْیَانًا لِّكُلِّ شَیْءٍ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةً وَبُشْرَىٰ لِلْمُسْلِمِینَ
One day We shall raise from all Peoples a witness against them, from amongst themselves: and We shall bring thee as a witness against these (thy people): and We have sent down to thee the Book explaining all things, a Guide, a Mercy, and Glad Tidings to Muslims.
وَلَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّتِی نَقَضَتْ غَزْلَهَا مِن بَعْدِ قُوَّةٍ أَنكَاثًا تَتَّخِذُونَ أَیْمَانَكُمْ دَخَلًا بَیْنَكُمْ أَن تَكُونَ أُمَّةٌ هِیَ أَرْبَىٰ مِنْ أُمَّةٍ ۚ إِنَّمَا یَبْلُوكُمُ اللَّهُ بِهِ ۚ وَلَیُبَیِّنَنَّ لَكُمْ یَوْمَ الْقِیَامَةِ مَا كُنتُمْ فِیهِ تَخْتَلِفُونَ
And be not like a woman who breaks into untwisted strands the yarn which she has spun, after it has become strong. Nor take your oaths to practise deception between yourselves, lest one party should be more numerous than another: for Allah will test you by this; and on the Day of Judgment He will certainly make clear to you (the truth of) that wherein ye disagree.
وَابْتَلُوا الْیَتَامَىٰ حَتَّىٰ إِذَا بَلَغُوا النِّكَاحَ فَإِنْ آنَسْتُم مِّنْهُمْ رُشْدًا فَادْفَعُوا إِلَیْهِمْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ ۖ وَلَا تَأْكُلُوهَا إِسْرَافًا وَبِدَارًا أَن یَكْبَرُوا ۚ وَمَن كَانَ غَنِیًّا فَلْیَسْتَعْفِفْ ۖ وَمَن كَانَ فَقِیرًا فَلْیَأْكُلْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِذَا دَفَعْتُمْ إِلَیْهِمْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ فَأَشْهِدُوا عَلَیْهِمْ ۚ وَكَفَىٰ بِاللَّهِ حَسِیبًا
Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is Allah in taking account.
إِلَّا الَّذِینَ یَصِلُونَ إِلَىٰ قَوْمٍ بَیْنَكُمْ وَبَیْنَهُم مِّیثَاقٌ أَوْ جَاءُوكُمْ حَصِرَتْ صُدُورُهُمْ أَن یُقَاتِلُوكُمْ أَوْ یُقَاتِلُوا قَوْمَهُمْ ۚ وَلَوْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ لَسَلَّطَهُمْ عَلَیْكُمْ فَلَقَاتَلُوكُمْ ۚ فَإِنِ اعْتَزَلُوكُمْ فَلَمْ یُقَاتِلُوكُمْ وَأَلْقَوْا إِلَیْكُمُ السَّلَمَ فَمَا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ عَلَیْهِمْ سَبِیلًا
Except those who join a group between whom and you there is a treaty (of peace), or those who approach you with hearts restraining them from fighting you as well as fighting their own people. If Allah had pleased, He could have given them power over you, and they would have fought you: Therefore if they withdraw from you but fight you not, and (instead) send you (Guarantees of) peace, then Allah Hath opened no way for you (to war against them).
In the Islamic trains, honesty and fighting against falsity have high importance. Honesty and keeping trust are two prominent signs of faith in God and humanity.
From point of the view of the religion, falsity is the source of sins and is considered as the key of sins.
Imam Hasan Asgari states
'' All vices are put in a room and its key is falsity''.
The most important investment of common life is sense of trust and mutual trust among couples and the most important things that eradicates it is falsity.
Imam Reza (peace be upon him) considers honesty as one of the signs of justice. Honesty is one of religious important values that eradicates contrasts, worries, doubts and tiredness from the inner of human. The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
فَإِنَّ الْکَذِبَ رِیبَةٌ وَ إِنَّ الصِّدْقَ طُمَأْنِینَة
'' Falsity causes distress and honesty causes comfort''.
Patience for the problems of the life is an appropriate way in order to solve them. It is one of the most important attributes that prevent from problems.
Apart from problems caused in family relationships, the life may face to financial problems and physical hurts and such things may provide the ground of disagreements and inappropriate behaviors in family relationships. Quran invites persons to patience against such problems
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَیْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِینَ
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.
الَّذِینَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِیبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَیْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return''.
لْكَ الرُّسُلُ فَضَّلْنَا بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ ۘ مِّنْهُم مَّن كَلَّمَ اللَّهُ ۖ وَرَفَعَ بَعْضَهُمْ دَرَجَاتٍ ۚ وَآتَیْنَا عِیسَى ابْنَ مَرْیَمَ الْبَیِّنَاتِ وَأَیَّدْنَاهُ بِرُوحِ الْقُدُسِ ۗ وَلَوْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ مَا اقْتَتَلَ الَّذِینَ مِن بَعْدِهِم مِّن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءَتْهُمُ الْبَیِّنَاتُ وَلَٰكِنِ اخْتَلَفُوا فَمِنْهُم مَّنْ آمَنَ وَمِنْهُم مَّن كَفَرَ ۚ وَلَوْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ مَا اقْتَتَلُوا وَلَٰكِنَّ اللَّهَ یَفْعَلُ مَا یُرِیدُ
Those messengers We endowed with gifts, some above others: To one of them Allah spoke; others He raised to degrees (of honour); to Jesus the son of Mary We gave clear (Signs), and strengthened him with the holy spirit. If Allah had so willed, succeeding generations would not have fought among each other, after clear (Signs) had come to them, but they (chose) to wrangle, some believing and others rejecting. If Allah had so willed, they would not have fought each other; but Allah Fulfilleth His plan.
یَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الشَّهْرِ الْحَرَامِ قِتَالٍ فِیهِ ۖ قُلْ قِتَالٌ فِیهِ كَبِیرٌ ۖ وَصَدٌّ عَن سَبِیلِ اللَّهِ وَكُفْرٌ بِهِ وَالْمَسْجِدِ الْحَرَامِ وَإِخْرَاجُ أَهْلِهِ مِنْهُ أَكْبَرُ عِندَ اللَّهِ ۚ وَالْفِتْنَةُ أَكْبَرُ مِنَ الْقَتْلِ ۗ وَلَا یَزَالُونَ یُقَاتِلُونَكُمْ حَتَّىٰ یَرُدُّوكُمْ عَن دِینِكُمْ إِنِ اسْتَطَاعُوا ۚ وَمَن یَرْتَدِدْ مِنكُمْ عَن دِینِهِ فَیَمُتْ وَهُوَ كَافِرٌ فَأُولَٰئِكَ حَبِطَتْ أَعْمَالُهُمْ فِی الدُّنْیَا وَالْآخِرَةِ ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ ۖ هُمْ فِیهَا خَالِدُونَ
They ask thee concerning fighting in the Prohibited Month. Say: "Fighting therein is a grave (offence); but graver is it in the sight of Allah to prevent access to the path of Allah, to deny Him, to prevent access to the Sacred Mosque, and drive out its members." Tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter. Nor will they cease fighting you until they turn you back from your faith if they can. And if any of you Turn back from their faith and die in unbelief, their works will bear no fruit in this life and in the Hereafter; they will be companions of the Fire and will abide therein.
لَّیْسَ الْبِرَّ أَن تُوَلُّوا وُجُوهَكُمْ قِبَلَ الْمَشْرِقِ وَالْمَغْرِبِ وَلَٰكِنَّ الْبِرَّ مَنْ آمَنَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْیَوْمِ الْآخِرِ وَالْمَلَائِكَةِ وَالْكِتَابِ وَالنَّبِیِّینَ وَآتَى الْمَالَ عَلَىٰ حُبِّهِ ذَوِی الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْیَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِینَ وَابْنَ السَّبِیلِ وَالسَّائِلِینَ وَفِی الرِّقَابِ وَأَقَامَ الصَّلَاةَ وَآتَى الزَّكَاةَ وَالْمُوفُونَ بِعَهْدِهِمْ إِذَا عَاهَدُوا ۖ وَالصَّابِرِینَ فِی الْبَأْسَاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَحِینَ الْبَأْسِ ۗ أُولَٰئِكَ الَّذِینَ صَدَقُوا ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُتَّقُونَ
It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing.
وَكَذَٰلِكَ جَعَلْنَاكُمْ أُمَّةً وَسَطًا لِّتَكُونُوا شُهَدَاءَ عَلَى النَّاسِ وَیَكُونَ الرَّسُولُ عَلَیْكُمْ شَهِیدًا ۗ وَمَا جَعَلْنَا الْقِبْلَةَ الَّتِی كُنتَ عَلَیْهَا إِلَّا لِنَعْلَمَ مَن یَتَّبِعُ الرَّسُولَ مِمَّن یَنقَلِبُ عَلَىٰ عَقِبَیْهِ ۚ وَإِن كَانَتْ لَكَبِیرَةً إِلَّا عَلَى الَّذِینَ هَدَى اللَّهُ ۗ وَمَا كَانَ اللَّهُ لِیُضِیعَ إِیمَانَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بِالنَّاسِ لَرَءُوفٌ رَّحِیمٌ
Thus, have We made of you an Ummat justly balanced, that ye might be witnesses over the nations, and the Messenger a witness over yourselves; and We appointed the Qibla to which thou wast used, only to test those who followed the Messenger from those who would turn on their heels (From the Faith). Indeed it was (A change) momentous, except to those guided by Allah. And never would Allah Make your faith of no effect. For Allah is to all people Most surely full of kindness, Most Merciful.
ثُمَّ أَنتُمْ هَٰؤُلَاءِ تَقْتُلُونَ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَتُخْرِجُونَ فَرِیقًا مِّنكُم مِّن دِیَارِهِمْ تَظَاهَرُونَ عَلَیْهِم بِالْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ وَإِن یَأْتُوكُمْ أُسَارَىٰ تُفَادُوهُمْ وَهُوَ مُحَرَّمٌ عَلَیْكُمْ إِخْرَاجُهُمْ ۚ أَفَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِبَعْضِ الْكِتَابِ وَتَكْفُرُونَ بِبَعْضٍ ۚ فَمَا جَزَاءُ مَن یَفْعَلُ ذَٰلِكَ مِنكُمْ إِلَّا خِزْیٌ فِی الْحَیَاةِ الدُّنْیَا ۖ وَیَوْمَ الْقِیَامَةِ یُرَدُّونَ إِلَىٰ أَشَدِّ الْعَذَابِ ۗ وَمَا اللَّهُ بِغَافِلٍ عَمَّا تَعْمَلُونَ
After this it is ye, the same people, who slay among yourselves, and banish a party of you from their homes; assist (Their enemies) against them, in guilt and rancour; and if they come to you as captives, ye ransom them, though it was not lawful for you to banish them. Then is it only a part of the Book that ye believe in, and do ye reject the rest? but what is the reward for those among you who behave like this but disgrace in this life?- and on the Day of Judgment they shall be consigned to the most grievous penalty. For Allah is not unmindful of what ye do.