The effect of cleaning and ornament on relationships between couples

Cleaning and the ornament of clothes and body are affairs that lead to more unity among couples and they provide a ground for their comfort and if couples do not pay attention to it, it can cause that a wife and a husband hate each other and it also increase inadaptability among them. This topic has caused that the matter of cleaning and make up devote a special importance in Islamic trains and they can be considered as one of effective affairs in the consolidation of family system. In this part, after it is discussed about the importance of cleaning and the ornament of women and men, some of its examples will be focused. Then problems that result from lack of attention to it will be discussed.
The importance of cleaning and ornament of couples
Cleaning and neatness have special importance in the religion of the Islam. Amir Al-Momenin (peace be upon him) states in a Hadith about the observation of cleaning and neatness and the expression of the its outer and inner effects;
''تنظفوا بالماء من المُنتِنِ الريح الذي يُتأذي به، تعهّدوا انفسکم فان الله عزّوجلّ يبغض من عباده القاذورة
الذي يتأنف به من جلس اليه''
'' Clean your body from bad smell that irritates others and follow such a way. In fact, God does not like a person that irritates everyone that sits beside him or her with the bad smell of his or her body''.
As it can be understood from this narration, lack of attention toward cleaning causes that others irritates. If persons irritate other persons that are around them (with lack of their cleaning), it can cause animosity and getting away from the mercy of God. Therefore, cleaning with all of its difficulty is considered as the moral principles of prophets;
'' قال الرضا (عليه السّلام): من اخلاق الانبياء التنظف''
'' Cleaning is considered as one of features of prophets''. It turns out that the recommendation of the Islam to the cleaning and ornament of spouses cause is on the behalf of its inner and outer effect and the observation of this principle causes that couples have more closeness with each other. Religious orders in Islamic sources have recommended women to have cleaning and ornament and have prevented men from lack of attention toward it;
''عن رسول الله (صلي الله عليه و آله و سلم) انه کان اذا اراد ان يتزوج امرأة بعث اليها فقال شمّي ليتها فان طالب ليتها طاب عرفها''
'' The habit of the prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) was when he wanted to marry a woman, the prophet sent someone to her and said to her '' smell her neck and if her neck has good smell, her body will have good smell''.
The emphasis of the prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) on case that a women should have good smell represents its effect on the comfort of spouse and adaptability with her. The cleaning and ornament of women have special importance and the Islam has paid attention to its details. On the other hand, the cleaning of men is recommended and emphasized in order to preserve the chastity of wives. Hasan Bin Jaham says '' I saw that Imam Kazaem (peace be upon him) had dyed his hair. I asked him in a surprised way '' have you dyed your hair? '' Imam Kazaem (peace be upon him) said
''نعم ان التهئية ممّا يزيد في عفة النساء و لقد ترک النساء العفة بترک ازواجهن التهئية ثم قال ايسرّک ان تراها علي ما تراک عليه اذا کنت علي غير تهيئة؟ قلت: لا قال: فهو ذاک''
'' The shaving of face of a man cause increases the Chasity of a woman and women may go wrong if men do not shave. Then Imam Kazem (peace be upon him) asked '' do you like to see your wife in a way that she has not cleaned herself like yourself?'' I said '' no, I don't''. Imam Kazem (peace be upon him) stated '' it is a point that should be recommended and she does not like too''.
Since the point of view of the Islam about the role and importance of cleaning and ornament has been clear, it is appropriate that some examples of this issue that have been presented in Islamic sources should be mentioned:
Guidelines for couples
In this part, the duties of a women and a man in relation to ornament and cleaning will be analyzed separately:
1. Cleaning body and garments
Using water for cleaning body, especially feet and garments, is the first and most important instruction for health. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states in a narration
'' Clean the bad smell of people with water''. The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) emphasizes on the cleaning of garments and body in a Hadith, explains its role in the health of family and states
'' اغسلوا ثيابکم و خذوا من شعورکم و استاکوا و تزيّنوا و تنظّفوا فانّ بني اسرائيل لم يکونوا يفعلون ذلک فزنت نساءهم''
'' Wash your garments, cut your hair, brush your teeth and be clean and neat. As a matter of fact, the tribe of Bani Israeil did not do them; as a consequence, their wives became infected''.
2. Cleaning and ornamenting hair
One of important beauties is human hair. Hence, innocent Imams (peace be upon them) have considered it divine garment and have recommended us to cherish it;
''قال رسول الله (صلي الله عليه و آله و سلم): الشعر الحسن من کسوة الله فاکرموه''
'' Beautiful hair is one of God covers. Hence, cherish and take care of it''.
The purpose of cherishing hair is to pay attention to its cleaning and then to ornament it''. The prophet states about the importance of taking care of hair in this way
''من انخذ شعراً فليحسن ولايته او ليجزّه''
'' If a person has long hair, she should take care of it well; otherwise, she should cut her hair''.
3. Cutting nail
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states to men about the preservation of health and the cleaning of nail
'' يا معشر الرجال قصّوا اظافيرکم''
'' O' men! Cut your nail''.
4. Using good smell
Good smell and using good smell are features that make women become interested in their husbands. Imam Reza (peace be upon him) considers it as one of moral features of prophets (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants);
'' الطيب من اخلاق الانبياء''
'' Good smell is one of features of prophets''.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) spent more money for good smell than food;
''عن الصادق (عليه السّلام): کان رسول الله (صلي الله عليه و آله و سلم) ينفق في الطيب اکثر مما ينفق في الطعام''
''Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) stated '' The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) spent more money for good smell than food''.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) has specified the kind and feature of suitable perfume of men and has stated
'' طيب الرجال ما ظهر ريحه و خفي لونه''
'' Good perfume for men is a kind of perfume that makes its smell well-smelt and make its color hidden''.
Using good smell not only has natural attraction, but it also makes couples attracted toward each other. Moreover, it has the improvement of sexual force and this affair can provide the ground of comfort and adaptability between couples;
''قال رسول الله (صلي الله عليه و آله و سلم): ان الريح الطيبة تشّد القلب و تزيد في الجماع''
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated'' good smell improves heart relationship and increases sexual intercourse''.
Since good smell has such positive effects, the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) has not considered whatever we spend money for perfumes as lavishness and has stated
''ما انفقت في الطيب فليس بسرف''
''Whatever we spend for good smell is not extravagance''.
5. Beautiful garments
Beautiful garments of men are affairs that lead to the establishment of friendship and comfort in family. Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) has considered wearing beautiful garments as the moral features of prophets and has recommended to it;
'' البس و تجمل، فان الله جميل يحب الجمال و ليکن من حلال''
'' Wear beautiful garments and look beautiful. In fact, God likes a beautiful person. Of course, this action should be halal''.
It is interesting that the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) wore cheerful garments. Therefore, he made his wives happy;
'' عن ابي عبدالله (عليه السّلام): ان رسول الله (صلي الله عليه و آله و سلم) کانت له ملحفة مورَّسة يلبسها في اهله حتي يردع علي جسده
'' The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) has an aba that had been dyed with a plant such as saffron and wore it in the presence of his family. The color of this aba had remarkable effect on the body of the prophet''.
Hakam Bin Atibe states
''دخلت علي ابي جعفر (عليه السّلام) و هو في بيت منجّد و عليه قميص رطبٌ و ملحفة مصبوغة قد اثر الصبغ علي عاتقه فجعلت انظر الي البيت و انظر في هيئته فقال لي: يا حکم ما تقول في هذا؟ فقلت: ما عسيتَ ان اقول و انا اراه عليک فامّا عندنا فانما يفعله الشابُّ المرهَّق. فقال: يا حکم! من حرّم زينة الله التي اخرج لعباده؟ فامّا هذا البيت الذي تري فهو بيت المرأة و انا قريب العهد بالعرس و بيتي البيت الذي تعرف''
'' I came to Imam Baqer (peace be upon him). He was in a decorated house, had worn soft garments and had worn colorful garments whose color has influenced the shoulders of Imam Ali. Then I came back home in a surprised way and I was looking at the situation that Imam Baqar (peace be upon him) was. Then Imam Baqar (peace be upon him) asked me '' O' Hakam! What do you think of this situation?'' I answered '' I have nothing to say when I see in such a situation. Inexperienced youths do such things''. Imam Baqar (peace be upon him) stated '' who boycotts adornment that God has created for his persons? This is the house of my wife and I have just got married, but my house is the same house that you know''.
It can be understood from this narration and other narrations related to this issue that a man should make up himself for his wife at home and should use garments that his wife likes. The position of a man in the community should not cause that a man should be in a way at home that others like, but he should be in a way that his wife likes.
b. Guidelines for women
Since the elegance and adornment of women are considered as the promise of God and effective factor in the attraction of couples toward each other, religious authorities have presented more guidelines about the area of cleaning and their adornment and have mentioned other cases about what has been expressed about men. Hence, the expression of common cases between men and women is avoided and some specialized cases of women or some different cases of adornment of women will be mentioned:
1. Good smell
Good smell is one of features that is desirable for men and women. Since this feature has more importance in women, the religion of the Islam has special attention to the attraction of smell of women. Therefore, Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) has considered good smell as the best norm of spouse and has stated
''خير نسائکم الطيبة الريح''
'' The best women are women that have good smell''.
As it was mentioned, when the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) wanted to marry a woman, he sent a woman to smell her neck and whether her neck had good smell or not was considered as the norm of good smell of that woman. One of other norms that the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) summoned men to marry women was whether their mouth had good breath or not;
'' Marry women whose mouth has good breath''.
Since the good smell of couples is considered as an effective factor in the attraction of spouse and a good introduction for more adaptability, the recommendation of religious authorities to women is that they perfume themselves for their husbands and even they have considered it as the rights of men;
''عن ابي عبدالله (عليه السّلام): قال جائت امرأة الي رسول الله (صلي الله عليه و آله و سلم) فقالت: يا رسول الله ما حق الزوج علي المرأة؟ قال: اکثر من ذلک فقالت: فخبرني عن شييء منه... قال: و عليها ان تطيّب باطيب طيبها''
'' A man came to the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) and said '' O' the messenger of God! What are the rights of husbands that owe women?'' The prophet stated '' there are a lot of rights''. Then the woman said '' make me aware of them''. The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) stated '' they should make themselves perfumed with good smell''.
Of course, the adornments of women should be out of home in the society. The adornment of women in social environment is the ground of provocation and the cause of social and family different disorders. Hence, the Islam has prevented women from ornamenting themselves in the presence of stranger men;
''عن ابي عبدالله (عليه السّلام): لا ينبغي للمرأة ان تجمّر ثوبها اذا خرجت من بيتها''
'' Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) stated '' it is not decent that a women perfumes herself when she leaves house''.
In another narration, the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) considers a woman that makes herself perfumed and leaves home far from the mercy of God and states about her;
''ايّة امرأة تطيبت ثم خرجت من بيتها فهي تلعن حتي ترجع الي بيتها متي رجعت''
'' When a woman makes herself perfumed and leaves home, she will be cursed until she comes back home''.
2. The adornment of hand
Some the guidelines of religious authorities are about the adornment of hand. For example, whereas cutting nail is pleasant for men, making nails longer is a kind of adornment for women. The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) said to women
''طَوّلن اظافيرکن فانه ازين لکنَّ''
'' Make your nails long because it has more adornment for you''.
Another point about the adornment of hand is to use dying in order to ornament it. In the past time, people used dying in order to make hand look colorful. Therefore, it has been narrated that Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) stated
''لا ينبغي لها ان تدع يدها من الخضاب و لو ان تمسحها بالحِنّاء مسحاً و ان کانت مسنةً''
'' It is not appropriate that women give up dying and if they get older, they can use henna''.
As time elapses, the way of using dying for ornament is changing, but using it is desirable still. It is interesting that the emphasis of this narration is that even old women should not give it up. Maybe, one of reasons of this emphasis is that if a woman makes up herself for her husband, it represents that she has considered value for her husband even though the makeup of a woman has in old age has no youth attraction.
3. Styling hair
Since hair has basic role in the beauty and ornament of women, double attempt should be done for its cleaning and ornament. In this area, it has been narrated in a narration from Imam Baqar (peace be upon him) that he has considered sticking wig to the hair of woman as adornment for their husbands acceptable and has stated
''سئل ابوجعفر (عليه السّلام) عن القرامل التي تصنعها النساء في روؤسهنّ يصلنه بشعورهن؛ فقال: لا بأس به علي المرأة ما تزيّنت به لزوجها''
It was asked Imam Baqar (peace be upon him) about things that women stick to their hair. Then Imam Baqar (peace be upon him) stated '' whatever a woman uses to adornment herself for her husband is accepted''.
4. Using jewelry
Naturally, women like jewelry. Hence, the Islam has considered using any kinds of jewelry permitted for women although it has prohibited some of them such as gold for men. From the point of view of the Islam, it is not appropriate that a married women be without adornment even for a moment. A married women should use anything available in order to adornment herself. Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) states about this matter
''لا ينبغي للمرأة ان تعطل نفسها و لو ان تعلّق في عنقها قلادة''
'' It is not appropriate that a woman be without adornment. She should wear at least necklace''.
Hence, this kind of ornament is important. If your husband is more interested in such adornment, it will more effective in his attraction. But what is more important is that ornament of a woman is that a woman can show that she shows that she considers special respect and value for her husband.
5. Beautiful garments
Some women devote their best garments for parties and ceremonies. In fact, they want to claim that they want to be like their husbands and they would not like to wear them in the presence their husbands. But according to what was said, from the point of view of the Islam, a woman should wear the best garments for her husband. This causes that a man becomes more interested toward his wife and it makes her husband become more interested in her and it provides a ground that a man does not look at other women and their ornament, does not compare his wife with other women and this is considered as a factor that leads to adaptability among couples and removes the ground of the disintegration of family foundation. Therefore, the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) has considered one of rights of husband as the beautiful garments of women and has stated
''و عليها ان تلبس احسن ثيابها''
'' A woman should wear the best garments in the presence of her husband''.