What is social health?

Social health and the importance of following the religion
Today following a religion is the form of inheritance and depends on some factors such as country, birthplace family and the cultural background of a country. Hence, there is no question that the principles of the religion are forgotten little by little and they cannot have an important role in the individual and social life of persons. Sometimes, the religion changes a part of the life of people and it is expressed by people without acting them. We will observe that religious values will change to unreligious values and vice versa. As Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states'' today we are living in a place and community that most of people consider trick and slyness as cleverness and ignorant persons consider them as prudent persons.
However, if the religion is accepted according to appropriate recognition and selects it in a real and wise way, it will natural that a person will follow the religion in two the parts of beliefs and behavior. Therefore, a person will act the trains of the religion with a lot of enthusiasm, by all means and without any external motivation. All of persons know that it is not enough that we accept the religion with our tongue and mind, but we should select the religion confidently so that we can consider it as a complete program for our life. Of course, all of the followers of the religion cannot follow the ideal way of the life that the religion has determined for some reasons. Hence, sometimes, there is a distance between the life of followers and this ideal life that we should decrease it so that the real health of individuals and the community can be established.
Since the necessity of a true social life is to have mental preparation, self-confidence for the establishment of relationship, to have social skills and ability in social adaptability, the plan of a true social life has been arranged in three parts:
1. Social point of view: the acquisition of knowledge and necessary awareness for centered-reality and not centered- self.
2. Social adaptability: the establishment of positive attitudes and in persons encouraging them for relationship with others.
3. Social skills: learning appropriate and positive ways in the establishment of relationship with other persons.
1. Social point of view
Today it has been discussed about the topic of the extension of social point of view among persons in social psychology. The purpose of social point of view is that a person can be in the shoes of another person and looks at affairs in their point of view. When adaptability among persons is possible, a person can understand the behavior, thoughts and emotions of other persons. There is a direct relationship between the rate of the completion of social point of view of a person and the rate and quality of his adaptability and it helps him or her to change from an aloof and introvert person to a social person and a person in line with the community.
Paying attention to religious texts, it can be understood that this kind of attitude and point of view had been paid attention in psychology before it was discussed about social point of view. It has been tried in religious trains that four basic principles can be transferred to persons for the establishment of positive and real point of view and attitude in persons:
1. All of persons have a purpose in the life although they have different purposes.
2. The life can be valuable for all of persons.
3. Persons can be able to do activities that are suitable for him or her.
If a person accepts these principles more and understands the reality of the life as it is, he or she will try to see them from the point of view of others according to their abilities not his or her own point of view in his or her relationship with others.
On the other hand, the Islam has tried that the desires of human soul have no role in social relationships because such spirit leads persons to ugly actions and on the other hand, they prevent them from growth and exaltation. Hence, the Islam has presented the appropriate point of view of persons in this way that they should like for others whatever they like for themselves and they should not like for others whatever they do not like for themselves. This general principle is true for all situations of the life that others will think about you in the way that you think about others.
The general rule of reaction or the reflection of action is confirmed by the Islam. We see in the society that if we tell a lie others, others will tell a lie to us and if we censure others, others will censure us. Moreover, if we backbite others, others will backbite others and if we make discord among others, others will make discord among us and others. It is completely clear that if we behave others in the way that others would like to behave us, social health will definitely implement.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states to Imam Mojaba (peace be upon him) in his will '' O' my son! Consider your conscience as the norm of judgment between yourself and others. You should like for others whatever you like for yourself and you should not like for others whatever you do not like for yourself.
Do not tyrannize others as you like that others do not tyrannize you and do favors for others as you like that others do favors for you. If you consider something disapproved for others, you should consider it disapproved for yourself. If people do favors that make you satisfied, you should do them for others.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) stated in another narration
'' You should socialize with persons in the way that you like that others socialize with you and if you provide for others a safe and secure place, others will provide for you a safe and secure place''.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
''A person will be a Muslim if he wants for others whatever he or she wants for himself or herself''.
The fairest persons are persons that they like for others whatever they like for themselves and they do not like for others whatever they do not like for themselves.
b. Social adaptability
Relationship with persons is one of the most complicated parts of the life of human. Since persons spend most of their life with others, the way of this relationship will have very important role in their life. If the kind of relationship with persons is friendly and respectable, this part of the life will be pleasant and satisfactory. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) states '' Get along with people so that you can use their brotherhood''.
If a person has an effective relationship with others, he or she will be able to achieve growth and perfection and his or her soul and psycho will have comfort. But if a person does not have a wise and positive relationship with others, his or her life will be disorganized. Hence, from psychological point of view, the most important sign of the health of soul of a person is social adaptability because inadaptability with others is the sign of arrogance and selfishness and definitely its result will be that person will become alone and aloof. It has been emphasized in religious texts that we get along with people. Adaptability with others is a kind and mild behavior with others and it has been mentioned as one of socializing manners in the social system of the Islam and the environment of social life should be comfort and friendly. The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states'' the best persons are persons that have better features and get along with people and make friendly relationship among people''.
If a person does not have adaptability with people, he or she will be deprived of all good things in the life.
A wise person has tolerance and adaptability with persons after faith in God.
Amir Al-Momenin (peace be upon him) also states
'' The sign of wisdom is tolerance and adaptability with persons''.
'' The health of the religion and the world is in tolerance and adaptability with people''.
'' Tolerance and adaptability with people are the best virtues''.
It is natural that good relationship with people and social adaptability make the life pleasant and decrease animosity among persons and it provides a ground that people can have friendly relationship with each other. Of course, social adaptability should be accompanied with encouraging others to do right actions and preventing them from ugly actions and we do not follow others in their indecent actions. In other words, we should not follow a group in cases that the Islam has recommended and in such situations, the duty of a Muslim is clear.
But in such cases, it is possible that we avoid accompanying with others with tolerance. Therefore, the topic of tolerance with people has been expressed without difference between Muslims and other persons in narrations. Imam Baqer (peace be upon him) states '' It has been written in Turat that God stated to Hazrat Musa (peace be upon him) '' O' Musa! Do not reveal your secret and get along with my enemy and your enemy.
In recent decades, sociologists and psychologists have concluded that the kinds of sins and social crimes are rooted in the mental disorder of a person and if there are no biological reasons for mental problems, there no question that corrupted social environment will be damaged. Such an environment cannot provide conditions for the persons of the society that their material and spiritual needs can be met in different ranks.
Of course, it is natural that the society cannot provide the facilities of growth and the satisfaction of needs for the persons of the society. But we should know that if the dissatisfaction of a person is related to the superb needs of human, he or she will have insecure feeling that can lead to the ground of mental diseases.
One of the most important effective factors for the prevention of such mental diseases is the kind of relationship of a person with people and his or her ability for compatibility with people. Therefore, such a person can feel happy and comfort. This ability depends that such a person likes people and he or she does not hate others and does not show animosity toward them.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
'' Would you like me to get you familiar with the worst people?'' they said '' O' the messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants)! Yes, we would''. The prophet stated '' if a person considers people enemy, people will consider him enemy as well''.
'' Do not have animosity toward each other, do turn away from each other. O' the persons of God! You should have brotherhood with each other''.
Of course, we should accept that if the society of human become more complicated, the importance of the adaptability of human will be more as well because the life is passing the simple level of relationships and it is moving toward technologies and the tools of human. In such a situation, the needs and wishes of persons are increasing and if they are not met, he or she will have insecure feeling. In most of cases, a person that is not satisfied will consider other persons responsible for his or her needs that are not met and he or she will hate them. To moderate such persons and to prevent from the destructive effects of hate, we should have affection toward others so that their mental balance can be established.
If we can prevent others from social hate and teach them how to have affection toward others, the spirit of social adaptability will improve in them because human is thirsty of affection and affection is the revitalizer of hearts. All of persons would like naturally that others have affection toward him or her and they have affection toward others. If a person knows that he or she is not beloved in social life and he or she feels lonely in this stressful world, he or she will either have hate feeling or will be depressed forever.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
Naturally hearts like persons that have affection toward them and have animosity with persons that hurt them.
According to this natural feature, a person should learn affection toward others and the control of hate from father and mother in childhood and family environment and he or she can implement patterns in the community with practicing them easily. Hence, the first step in social adaptability is that a person behaves others kindly and avoids animosity and retribution toward them. Hence, in religious trains, it has been expressed about the ways of friendship and the avoidance of animosity toward persons in a complete way.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) has considered friendship and affection to others as the persons of the troop of wisdom and animosity and retribution and animosity as the persons of the troop of ignorance''.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
'' Friendship and affection to others are the half of the religion''.
Imam Sadeq (peace be upon him) has considered God as only norm of affection and animosity toward others. In other words, we should have affection toward whatever is in the specified path by God and on the other hand, we should have animosity and negative reaction toward whatever makes us get away from true path.
3. Social skills
Social skill is a process that helps a person to behave in a way that other persons consider him or her as an adequate person. Hence, skills are necessary abilities for doing purposeful and successful in relationship with others. Moreover, social skill is certain and trained behaviors that persons do in their relationships so they can be confirmed by social environment. In fact, these abilities are abilities that provide the ground of adaptability and positive and useful behavior. These abilities can help a person to accept social responsibilities and he or she face to daily problems and expectations in social relationships in an effective way without hurting themselves and others.
In psychology, the positive effect of social skill has been accepted in the reduction of harsh behaviors, the improvement of self-confidence and the increase of using capacities and reactions of a person. On the other hand, social skills help persons to apply his or her knowledge and attitude and the values of his or her mind as real ability in the community and he or she learn how to behave in the community. Hence, social skills include purposeful behaviors that are related to each other and they are in line with the condition of person and the society and will lead to the health of social life.
It is clear that among behavioral patterns of the community, persons that have more social skills are more loved and accepted by others in the community. Hence, the acquisition of social skills are considered as necessary affairs in relationships among persons.
The features of social skill
Some of the features of social skill include:
1. These skills should include behaviors or remarks that are applied in relationships among persons.
2. Social skills should be learned in a usual way and persons should learn them at home and in the community. Therefore, we should consider the ability of the preservation of desirable and friendly relationships along the acceptance of responsibilities against family members as the starting point of the acquisition of these skills.
3. It needs experience and practice so that persons can acquire the power of the preservation of friendly relationships with others easily and can face to appropriate and effective answers by other persons in social life and this will have remarkable effect on individual and social health.
4. Behaviors and remarks should be in line with rules and social situation of persons. In other words, social skills are influenced by environmental factors such as age, gender and social position.
5. When these skills are effective, they should be in line with the culture, tradition and values of the society.
The Islam has recommended to acquire social skills and one of them is to forgive others.
In social life, all of persons do not respect the rights of each other equally. Sometimes, some persons violate the rights of other persons deliberately or accidentally. There are some punishments for persons that violate the rights of other persons in the rules of rights and persons can take back their violated rights through these rules, but all of moral systems have emphasized on forgive although they have some disagreement about it.
When a person is tyrannized, he or she will definitely become angry, but we should know that mean persons think about revenge and retribution. Hence, they always have spiritual health and try to forgive others in the life.
Some persons may think that if they forgive, they will accept humiliation, but if it is done in an appropriate condition, it will not lead to such humiliation because the forgiving of a person is his or her power, heart satisfaction and inner grace.
The messenger of God (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants) states
'' It is necessary that you forgive others because forgiving leads to the self0esteem of a person. Hence, you should forgive each other so that God makes you dear persons''.
Amir Al-Momenin (peace be upon him) states
''The most qualified persons that forgive are the most powerful persons for punishing others. The best moral feature is that a powerful person forgives others
''. Now it should be asked whether ignoring violators and forgiving others do make them bold or not. The Islam has two recommendations about this matter:
1. We should not let persons that violate the boundary of others and make the atmosphere of the society disorganized violate the rights of others continue it because they are sure that they will be forgiven.
We should not improve the spirit of retribution and seriousness in the implementation of the punishment of a criminal in persons and the emotions of human should be ignored, but the faults of persons should be forgiven so that stubbornness in the society can change to affection and friendship. Quran states with addressing the prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants)
'' O' the prophet (peace of Allah be upon him and his descendants)! Answer bad actions with good actions. Then your animosity among you will change friendship''.
Islam pay attention to this point that in some cases, forgiving others may mean that we accept the tyranny of others; hence, in such situations, there is no agreement with forgiving. The Islam does not say any general rules that violators should be forgiven or they should be punished, but in some cases, it recommends punishment according to prudence and in some cases, it recommends forgiving others.
If a violator really regrets and he or she does not repeat his or her action, forgiving causes that he or she will avoid violating the rights of other persons. If the spiritual and mental conditions of a criminal persons are in a way that if he or she is forgiven and his or her fault is ignored, he or she will have more boldness and will continue his or her ugly action. In such a situation, only punishment can prevent from his or her violating.