Why do the women escape wearing the hijab? (2)

Recognizing the Factors and psychological motivations
Seeking the personality
Perhaps a modest man can not be found that social status to be dishonored to him and not to be happy with that and not to try getting it. But, what we should learn in this context is that there is difference between benefiting the social status and internal feeling of personality. Sometime someone has social status, but does not feel this personal status. In this case, without anyone being aware of that, feeling the lacking of personality suffers him or her. So, among the world's top men, some were known as the most complex human beings. Beethoven (most known musician) is one of them. Either the wealthy, high-ranking and prominent persons who suffer from feelings of inferiority or anyone else, the reason for this suffering should be mentioned as: there is searching center insides each person that the "self" of individual such as his thinking, behaviors and his wishes are being evaluated and priced. That center within each individual that his character is being impaired, and his nature is not changed, works. Of the accuracy of that assessment center one is that between the true character of the person and what he has gained social status and influence through, the distinction is mad. Thus, the value of the person that is to his inner virtues and his human qualities with his outward diagram that is house, clothing, jobs and the car is being separated from each other and understands it to man distinct from each other. It has been written once Nasser Al Din Shah in the bathroom asked his washer, can you price me? He replied: I say if I feel secure. Then said: Your price is a hundred Toman. Shah asked with surprise that what you have just said is the price of the bag that is in your hands.
The washer jokingly said that I just priced the bag and otherwise you do not have any price. So, if one can price man, the person himself can better make a price, measure and value himself. When the person pauses to measure the value of human behavior and aspirations that is valued by humanistic treatments and wishes, he would not find something inside and then he refers to other part of his existence such as amenities, jobs and health benefits so that by using them, to visualize undetected dignity in the form of a hollow sculpture from nothing. That internal automatic device that can be called "self" "conscience" or "self-conscious" does not stop and continuously let him know of living conditions and human moral and personal shortcomings to himself. When a person was informed that his beliefs, efforts, aspirations and his attempts are important elements and gains the security and mental health and because observe them null and void then suffers anxiety and personality disorder. We read in the divine book: "The human is better cognizant of his soul, though in appearance, he excuses. This means that when a person goes down into thoughts and finds no values in the self and among "self-imagination" and " ideal self images" sees long distance, then feels failure facing people and others. His defense mechanism works compensate that real inability by helping of its replacing phenomenon. Thus, sometimes resorts to self-praising and sometime belittling what others have. Perhaps you should have seen the children playing when one of them boasts to having a special toy and the other who don’t have it, inevitably honors to having something that one does not have it, in order to less suffer not having the toy. This phenomenon prevails over all human life, especially those who have grown up in secular families and moral values and the culture of coverage does not cost to them, suffer more. Because, they measure themselves with moral standards tend to weigh between what they are and what they see, they manipulate the apparent values. So, the most touchable means for them is the appearance of life, fine clothes and beautiful face or limbs. However, these means are owned by prostituted women as well. The difference between internal and external evidences indicates that the more man is emptied of inside, gets more focused on the appearance. Appearance (clothes, home, car, and way of speech, eating and drinking, handbag and shoes and things of this type) are the best tools covering the personal hidden weaknesses and this point is known by the most normal people's conscience and uses it.

2. Proof of the Merit
Some social practices like providing artworks, demonstrating academic achievements and work products, production activities and prosperous life situation sometimes is done in order to prove competence and ability. According to a researcher: what if women in sewing, crafts or child rearing efforts have endeavored and have said poems or poetry, not in order to earn fame and glory this way or after centuries to raise Memorial statue but, to this goal to reveal their satisfaction to the view of those who are their targeted love and within this way more satisfy their aspiration. Preference to superiority gives pleasure to woman; she wants to be sure that everyone is in great need of her. That is why most men do the work of their children and endure the greatest sacrifices to reveal that she can handle some matters that the others fail to do. The behavioral effect of male and female behavior in winning character is different. The woman pursue part of her character to win the support and respect of the man, but not just to eye at his face and his hair and to be fascinated by her. Most of them in grasping this attention and favor are after a higher goal and seeking beautiful eyes and lips and limbs is not their ultimate goal, though men and even women themselves sometimes do not know that main purpose and main motivation are delinquent to that. On the glance of the people, the weakened- faith girls, because they do not know their internal value or ignore it hope to grasp the man's attention to their own character , emotional situations and aspects inherent to them. It can not be said that Self disclosing individuals due to the continued weakness of the character, resort to show up. In many cases, the reason for showing off is not having a weak personality but, the person feels a not released power inside his own that does not know how to release it and let others know about it. Therefore, he uses part of his obvious power so that perhaps he can find a way to influence hearts and proves his power and talent. Every girl and woman, modicum of knowledge and faith, more than the men consider for their own character and because of two features, consider themselves worthy of the highest respect.

1- Non-material aspects which has been the purpose of creation.
2- Women's enjoyment of the delicacies that is very important for the man
The Girl or the woman who by being semi-dressed are trying to the peoples' attention, in fact, all her aims are feminine flaunt delicacies therefore; this goal is a trap to greater and more important goals. Thereby, he wants to keep her watcher fascinated to her abilities and being delighted that the others have found something in her that is remarkable. Man's fascination derives from the need she is a woman. The man's love and infatuation to women drives from his feeling need in her so, he finds in her talents and feminine fasciations that she does not have and, knows that in any time he cannot achieve them. But since the female appearance is very glamorous and tempting for man and before that power reveals the spiritual power of the woman, deceives the man and the woman will be deviated from her principal goal and more than everything fascinates him to her own physical power. And apparently she forgets that in all attempts to attract the attention of the man, has considered a far more objective that stayed away from that. What proves the fact to us; one is that after the marriage, if a woman feels that her husband has chosen her only for her beauty, family status or assets will become upset and will think of her original value forgotten to her husband.

3. Testing our own abilities
"Fear and fictitious anxiety" are of female teen characteristics. Sometimes they are afraid of the unknown factors and mysteriously and very cautiously trying to gradually overcome the unknown fear and anxiety. Perhaps, their reason for anxiety is their uncertainty of answer to sample questions.
1- How will be May future like?
2- Do I think I can draw my future wife's attention?
3- Am I among peers, popular and accepted person?
4- Is not there a fault in me to keep the people away from me? Sometimes, girls and even women are aware of her beauty and efficiency, but he is not so much confidant that to be able to penetrate in the hearts. She wants to believe in her abilities and then in the shadow of this self confidence, reassures and become encouraging in life. Trust and confidence is achieved when the person benchmarks ability to and be informed of it. To do this one way of - for a woman whose faith is not perfect - the appearance of treatment effects and feminine delicacies.

Passion to admiration and arising feeling
Tending to arouse feelings of others and the desire to rectify and reception, perhaps to be the most powerful woman's life driving. With the success in this desire, the woman will live healthy in aging, as well. Men's mistake is that they think that if a girl or woman is interested in , flirted and provoke a man, surely is charmed by him while usually it is not the case. A woman's purpose of manifesting herself and her melodious voice is fascination of the spirit of the person. He thinks that her body is being praised and is shown as a surprise. The rational nature of the man is such that more than paying attention to women's mental feats and privileges such as wit and having powerful mind is fascinated by her beauty. And thereby woman both neglects her spiritual themes, and every day jumps to the same direction, which is more fascinate and attractive. To get accepted by the people - especially the relatives - and being fascinated by the desires gives calm and tranquility to the woman And keeps away the grief of shattered dreams and frustrations from her. Maybe that's why socially inappropriate behaviors and semi-nudity of most of the girls and women who have failed in life is observed. Or have not been able to attract one's affection, or to prove their rates to their acquaintances. It is said: "The woman has no fear of sacrifice and even death and just she fears that before the death of those who gathered around her and are favored by her, have not known her ad is not fascinated by them. Can we respect and love the woman as this natural tendency that she expects by free offering of her abilities or censure her? Is this God's gift to her feeling or a sort of aberration effects? Are veiled chaste women are deprive of such a desire? What do they do in satisfying the sense of admiration and social acceptability? The fact is that this feeling is the gift of God and the nature of women and the pure women and well-trained it is not remedial of that but a lack of belief in the rights , the religious criteria are not intended and what is God's gift become the factor for slip. In the wake of such a predilection and in order to exploit the most of it and the community's security from harmful effects, these principles should not lose sight of.
1- When girls and women are not trained by religious teachings, their tendency border to manifestation and admiralty enhances and their passion to acceptation leads to a kind of restlessness. They are not only happy and relaxed with friends and family, lovely, beautiful, adorable and friendly as well. Want in a wider area - even to those who do not expect to love and expect respect from them - in order to be shown popular and lovely. With this mindset, the home environment and family gatherings is small for such a desire and expectation, and every phenomenon known as inhibitor such as veils for women is being known as cause of failure. She does not seek freedom for corruption. But, wants to expand the Environment of productivity from herself and enjoys to enlarge a circle of enthusiasts and attracts more number of herself, and to be satisfies the pleasure of "being friendly to others". It is the duty of parents, educators and the married that before the diversion of these feelings, to run for guiding the person; they understand him that releasing this desire not only does not give him or her peace but also, on appeal to people make her impatient. However; in taking into account of the talents, desires and emotions of girls and women, they should try that their unfulfilled desires not to attract them to the strangers. Sometimes girls and women because of the esthetic and lack of a physical slim body - though very simple, such as acne - feel concern and they think that no one pays attention to them. So these people need more attention and themselves, should direct their internal feelings and talents toward a direction that is more successful. There are hundreds of internal feelings in the person that if becoming known, will make all fascinated and the person in order to uncover those mysteries, needs not showing off or boasting.
3- Whenever the passion of women and girls to flirt and the Beast, is not controlled , gradually the dormant soul of sin, encourages the person to wrong affairs and will create a difficult issue out of a simple subject that pays the way for her slip and deviation. Therefore, the woman by a pure heart tries boasting and flirting and the man who is unaware of her purity, considers that movement as a type of tendency to sin on the part of the woman and being fascinated by her and makes his own and her disgracing.

5. Discover the internal mysterious world:

In the words of one of the most knowledgeable men in the history, Imam Ja'far Sadeq (PBUH), we read:
Shame consists of ten share that 9 parts are in women and only one is in men thus, out of their nine share , because they become period, one share destroys and when they marry another and when they get pregnant their third shame removes as well. After that, only five share remains and if she stays pure, that five share will remain for her. How feminine habit, marriage, pregnancy and child birth cause her shame to be reduced? Is it OK, by leaving marriage and avoidance of pregnancy, to preserve this modesty? Is preventing the occurrence of these four phenomena possible for women? This Hadith is one of the most profound sayings and contains important secrets. There is no doubt that by natural course of life, women can not escape these four events. So, in losing those four vital shares there is no choice for shame but, to lose it, she must be very happy. So, it is because at every stage, she discovers new wonders and a window of information or the pleasures of life will be opened for her. Marriage, pregnancy, birth and child rearing give fresh passion to the life of couples and the treasure of feeling, emotions and her instincts that laid in the depths of her being , pulls out and tastes her the pleasure of observation and using it instead of her. It must be admitted that inside any of us, different sorts of willingness and the power of doing everything has been placed and till the opportunity for its flourish and benefit is not provided, will not become known and prosperous. If discovering inner force, in the proper position, nurtures the talents, it's discovering at the wrong time will be critical. In the wake of research and interviews with several of the cheated imprisoned girls, this fact was cleared for me more than ever that one of the causes for the slip of these girls has been their early and sudden acquaintance within their own feminine characteristics. They, as result of dialogue and contact with outsiders, have understood their nature and because had no benefit of religious understanding and belief, have experienced the slip. Social events and experiences show that nudity and low latency of girls identify their feminine nature very earlier than the right time and as early maturity, make them feel temptation and impurity. Nudity of women and girls, since make their appeal public, and intrigues the men and fascinate them and this fascination affect the woman's sprit. She feels that with such behavior, she makes the glances restless and some people in search of her secrets and searching for her are active. She says to herself that when someone is trying to understand the gravity of my praise why, through coverage, I avoid such an attention. Perhaps the reason is that some women before marriage are more trying to flirt and boast and after marriage even do not make up for their own husbands and that is why, the woman when saw the man interested in her, somewhat her coquetry disappears. If a woman is seen that after the marriage still boasts in the presence of a stranger, it is likely that she has not found her inner emotions before the husband.

6. The delight to watch the joy of others

The woman's passion to arouse the feelings of others is because she becomes happy watching excitation and delight of others. This tendency towards others causes her to forget her own pleasures and prays the loyal life more for others and it is because she feels upset or glad of praise or disrespect of others moreover, her other friendship causes that if none is near her so that she can gives her happiness then, she would become restless and her life will be in torture. The woman's mind is like a magnifier that indicates the others' feeling stronger and it is because she thinks more to attraction of pleasure and disposal of the suffering of others and even sometimes she scarifies herself for the pleasures and sufferings of others. It is not unbelievable to say that a part of activities and services of woman at home and even her joy making activities in the parties is because of this that makes other keep in joy and being favored by them. Among what is in the hands of woman for arousing the feelings of others, outside the family privacy, is the most prepared means for her. Woman is aware of the man's feeling toward her as well as his restlessness about her body. However, she tries by showing what makes the man happy give him pleasure and the man herself feels in peace of such a pleasure. The woman in this exchange does not pay attention to what she looses and just thinks to this that by her behavior and flirt makes a heart excited and give it pleasure and except woman no one else can understand her own inner satisfaction.

Prevention and treatment
Becoming happy by tasting joy to others is part of the woman's nature and purity or indifference of the person to obeying moral principals has no effect on that; unless the pure girls and women satisfy this feeling in another way and perhaps the source of this inner thirst is more stronger than people with loose faith. It is because their nature is healthier and balanced and naturally the sense of sacrifice and interest are stronger to others.
More common is that woman before searching the joys of others , to know the real joys and happiness so that her effort in making others happy is not wasted. In fact, making a young person seduced by beauty and charm for a while, unfastening the strings of affection with her spouse or inviting him to committing sin is not a real joy. Therefore, in doing anything, we should think to its consequences that maybe a sort of joy-making ultimately ends to sadness for self and others. Of course, we can not censure the one who can feel happy of making others happy but, we should modify and encourage them. Whatever that causes depression and deserves avoidance is that a girl or a woman want by nudity of her body tries to flirt and make others happy. Whenever the man just belonged to himself, no one censured her for such an attitude but, any of us as belonging to ourselves have joined our creator as well as all the essence. The happiness that summits by a glance, by another look turns into regret. There have been many loves, passions and romantic relationships that ended a life full of grief.

7- . Sexual frustration
Among me , there is a type of physical as well as mental illness that men are not satisfied having relationship with one woman and inevitably chooses variety of wives. But, the woman, though stronger in sexual instincts and morally healthy, she would not be inclined to polyandry and even dislike it. According to Imam Sadeq (PBUH( four things are never satisfied with four thing , the ground from rain, eyes from looking , woman from man and the learner from learning knowledge. However, by sexual deviation and moral illness or the husband's shortcoming in conducting marital affairs this behavior receives exception and the woman even married suffers from sexual frustration.
Sexual frustration is sometime real and sometimes unreal. In the first type, the person in reality has stayed frustrated but, in the second type, some causes her feel frustration. When the person due to free relationship with heterosexual is entangled with diversity and heightened demand. The habitual sense of the man is in a way that when tastes the sweetness of something gradually accustomed to it in a way that leaving it is not difficult. In sexual affairs, this phenomenon has particular complexity. If a person in a particular situation intended to do something and got used to it , no longer could avoid of tasting them easily.
In women, the habit of talking and interaction with men, when mixed with moral negligence and nudity, after a short period of time brings about a tendency to the alien that the person due to that enjoys talking with opposite sex. Tasting the flavor of sin increases the tendency to sin day by day and changes it into a kind of moral deviation. So, the woman, despite being married, found an unrest place that feels satisfied with such behaviors. More than all we should know that the diversity of instinct and pleasure-seeking sense of woman consists of different steps but includes two main and sub basis.
1- Fascinating interest and affection of opposite sex (sub-)
2- Having sexual relationship(main)

Up to the moment that the woman is believing in Hijab and moral principals, indicates both of these tendencies to a person (husband). The well-trained Muslim woman is not aiming to attract the attention and interest of the strange man and continually escaping it. But, when distancing it, and she uses to nudity of hairs and the body gradually that first affection that was only dedicated to her husband, is shown toward the others, as well and suddenly she loves not to show her beauties to her husband and as result, she satisfies the sense of attracting interests of the opposite sex that has not been uninhibited in her; an eyes that so far was well-satisfied by husband and she does not feel a shortcoming. So, they, in this step, keep the tendency of second type for the husband. Gradually, the deviation in the first type tendency (attracting the attention of opposite sex) is transferred to second type tendency and talking with stranger and attracting their attention, re-seduce the person's soul and tendency to resume a more intimate relationship with the stranger and gradual the second-type attraction comes out; as moral corruption and the collapse of family unit occurred in the West in this way. In western nations after revival of this sense in women, due to unlimited sexual freedoms, having illegal relationship became fashionable and did not refrain any one else from doing that. Here, the semi-covered woman, because finds the situations inappropriate to satisfy her own deviant relationship are trying as far as possible to satisfy this feelings. Hence, the nudity of body for them has been left as the best and the last unsatisfied feeling. The behavior of some of these women is sometime so interpretive that the watcher does not ponder over it. However, we should consider these behaviors as dormant lustfulness that does not leave a clear role and you can not easily blame some one for it.
8- Familiarity with secrets of the men
In some families that moral principals and social rules are not well-thought to the children, the attitudes, visage and the interpretation of divine rules are considered and the children – especially girls- know the opposite sex guys as insecure individuals that they should distance from them. Stranger is a frightening word to them and visiting him demands some rules and customs that everyone fails to do it. This attitude rather than being a reason for recognition is a prerequisite for different versions and moral collapses. A sense of curiosity that in the youth and childhood era makes the person to recognize the phenomenon and gain enough information and even if this test demands courage and suffering small loses , she should not escape it and experiences it. For the one who for years they have feared her of stranger without reason and make her fearful of countering her way of testing man is needed. Because such a person does not have enough information except a bundle of alarms, she likes to know more about his mentalities and his feelings. She wants to know that what the men are seeking through glancing at women and what attractive senses of the woman make the man to be attracted by the woman. Semi- coverage and nudity for some people are a reason to enter into the world of the opposite sex; it is because when the woman's body is semi-covered the dignity of thee man as well as the woman's shame undergo the whims. However, the staring and long gazes uncover his mentality and show the man's weak aspects to the woman. The woman with any movement which can follow the man's gaze, gains information of her characteristics and its role in stimulating the excitations of woman and knows better the mysterious world of men and can better deviate them. Keeping the girls safe is not exceedingly making them avoid men and boys. However, teaching and guidance through this method sometimes inversely affects and unwittingly bring them close to the men and boys. However, those alarms fall effective when to be mimed with reasonable advices therefore, the following points should be regarded.
1- In providing any subject and remembrance, exaggeration and lying must be avoided and events that happened must be stated to the young generation as it is. If an illegal behavior was made by a boy or a man toward a woman, the issue should not be overstated.
2- In teaching religious principals, we should not step farther and we should not be more pious than God demanded. For this sake, as illegal behaviors mentions, the legal conducts should mention, too and the girls should be free as God demanded however; it deserves this freedom to be accompanied by the person's attention as well as the parents' supervision.
We read in an advice of Holy Prophet (BBUH) "the best women are those who are tamed and submissive to their husbands while untamed to the strangers. As mentioned in the biography of Holy Lady Fatimah (AS) , the Lady rarely talked with strangers and if need she talked in the presence of women talked so courageously that men failed to defend themselves. The excessive shame that has been censured is the reason for fear and not the surveillance for purification. The excessive shame makes the person so submissive that sometimes facing non-gender guys takes the intension out of him in a way that she surrenders unwillingly. Any wise person is responsible to learn the principals based on her own attitudes and she must be thought that in relation with any person – known or unknown- some principals must be considered. These principals are sometime deterrent and sometimes modifier of humanistic and Islamic relationship and the opposite sex person is not a monster. He is a creature with different nature and different sex; but requires specific social and religious way of communication. However, considering these principals not only do not reduce our social value but also, develops his social position to others and indicates the person's familiarity with social as well as moral commitments.