The Ups and Downs of Socializing

Translator: Davood Salehan
Source: rasekhoon.net

The Importance and status

Constructive communication with others is one of the most important spiritual needs of man. According to many philosophers, the essence and nature of humans is such that it must have a social life. No one under normal circumstances can survive alone. The humans are born in a community, can stay and boost the quality of their life, recognize themselves better, and understand their features, capabilities and their disabilities. On the other hand, many of the moral virtues and vices are emerging within the communications. Teaching and learning without social life and without the possibility of socializing with others cannot be realized. Understanding the experiences of others and taking benefit from them are other merits that do not come except when socializing with people.

The instrumental nature of the value of socializing

Socializing with others is not favorable by itself, but it’s being good or bad depends on the purpose of socializing with others and their impact on human perfection. Developing the divine morals and taking benefit from the moral virtues in order to clean one’s soul is of the most important virtues of keeping others company; therefore, socializing with others should be avoided if it involves committing sins and being distracted from the right path. Islam does not order any association recommendations, but some interaction are considered harmful and destructive and it is advised to give them up. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said to Abuzar Ghaffari: "O Abuzar! Good companionship is better than isolation and loneliness is better than sitting with the unrighteous. "
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) in response to the question "Who are the worst friends?" He replied: "He who beautified the sins in the human eye." He has asked us not to start a friendship with the people who are flatterers: "Do not befriend the flattering people because they show their acts as decent and would prefer you to act like them."

Types of interactions

In general, the ways in which one mingles with others can be divided into five categories.

1. Human interactions:

Encounters with others as a fellow human being, and Islam has identified the general framework of relationships and lifestyle of Muslims in this area with emphasis on this kind of association.

2. Ritual interactions:

They are called the relationships that every person has with other colleagues which are also labeled as ritual or religious interactions. We as a Muslim have responsibilities and duties dealing with other Muslims and they are sometimes heavier responsibilities and duties that often go beyond the tasks that are the responsibility towards people in general. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: "He who hears a cry for help from his Muslim brothers, but does not hurry to help him is not a Muslim."

3. Social interactions:

Each of us has a special relationship with other citizens and we do not have the same relationships with the non-citizens. The same issue lays out certain responsibilities and moral obligations for us and, in some cases, they are beyond the responsibilities towards our fellow humans and ritual companions. For example, Islam recognizes being kind to a neighbor as the best example of practical unity. The Holy Quran says: "And serve Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and also to relatives and orphans and the needy and the neighbor who are close to you and the distant neighbors and friends and companion and poor travelers and the slaves you own because God abhors the one who is arrogant and boastful (and refuses to pay the rights of others). (Nisa ', 36).
In this verse, the relationship between beliefs and values and lifestyle are beautifully drawn. The root of all moral, legal and emotional and behavioral problems, infidelity and polytheism is known to God, and at the end of the verse the way to treat these problems is suggested. In this verse, after the command to worship God and to avoid idolatry, other matters have been ordered. This verse will explain the procedure and the lifestyle of believers and not necessarily their cross-sectional behaviors.
In the words of Ayatollah Javadi Amelie "in offering charity to the above-mentioned groups in this verse the blasphemy and being wealthy are no barriers, rather, the Islam, faith, poverty, conditions, social and ethical manners are disregarded as well and only being a human is the principle. The principle in dealing with people is not the indifference, the abuse, but kindness and courtesy, except in exceptional cases.”
A narrated excerpt from the Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) states the neighboring rights "It is a neighbor’s right to be visited if he is ill, if he passed away, one should be present in the funeral, if he asks you to lend him money then you should comply, and if it is a happy occasion for him you must congratulate him on the occasion and if a misfortune comes up, you should pass your condolences and you should not raise the level of your house depriving him of the breeze of the air”.
In some traditions, the one that sleeps with a full stomach and his neighbor is hungry is not a Muslim.

4. Friendly interactions:

Each of us chooses among the fellow-humans those with whom we can build and establish more intimate relationships. This type of association, due to the extraordinary influence on one’s personality, has been appealing to Islam and among the Muslim scholars and moralists special measures have been provided for such communications. In some traditions and recitations, a way of understanding someone’s faith is by viewing the friends he has and the company he keeps. It is also one of the first ways to judge a people's character by understanding their associates and friends. In contrast, having a bad friend has been viewed as a piece of fire and a pest of goodness. Basically, a friend’s features are transmitted to you in a hidden way. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: "Do not associate with evil people, because your nature unconsciously steals from his."
A man’s friends are a good test of his character recognition. Imam Baqir (peace be upon him) said: My father, Imam Sajad (peace be upon him) said to me: "Son, take care that you should neither love nor speak with five groups of men and you should not be their companion in any path. I asked: Father! Who are they? He said in friendship avoid liars, because liars are like a mirage, he represents to you the distant things as close and the close things as distant. Avoid friendship with sinners, because he gives you up for a slight load. Avoid friendship with a curmudgeon, because when you most need him he leaves you.
Avoid friendship with a stupid person, as a stupid person though he wants to benefit you may harm you. Beware of a friend that has ended his relationship with his family and relatives because such a man has been cursed in three verses of the Qur'an... "

5. Family interactions:

We are each a member of a particular family and each one assigns a set of family roles, responsibilities and moral obligations.

The general criteria of social interaction

1-Whatever you want for yourself want it for others

An Arab form the desert came to the Prophet and said, teach me something that, by doing it, I move it to heaven. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: "Give people what would you like to get from them and do not treat them in a way you would not want them to treat you."
In fact, this is the general rule and criterion for social ethics and how to socialize with others. Many ethical schools have also accepted this rule and have benefited from it in their moral and ethical systems. The best criteria to determine the rightness or wrongness of our social behavior is the same criteria that can be applied in all social encounters.

2. Being tolerant of others:

Tolerance is of the divine nature and is an innate quality of divinity. Everyone is instinctively interested in tolerance and compassion. For this reason, a heart which is infected with being hostile to others is the heart that has distanced from its original nature for worldly uncleanliness and selfishness and egotism. The necessity of love for God is love for God's creation and this in turn requires being tolerant of them.
In Islamic teachings, the tolerance of and being kind to people and even perverted minds and tyrants have been emphasized while inviting them to the right path. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: "If you want to be among the best people in the world and in the next world, you should find these features: forgiving a person who has wronged you, keeping relationships with relatives who have cut their ties with you and forgiveness for someone who has withheld from you.”

3. Fighting cruelties and dedication to all the people:

Islam has strongly recommended that every Muslim should always be concerned for other human beings and must have a sense of responsibility towards their direction and guidance. Anywhere one sees that injustice exists, one must never back away and should stand against it to the best of one’s ability. The order of the Imam to his children is that you should fight the wicked man and assist the oppressed.
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: "The people are all the creatures of God after all the most popular subjects in the sight of Allah are those who are kindest to God’s creatures.
In other words, the height of wisdom and wisdom after religion have been introduced as kindness and benevolence towards all human beings, both good and bad. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) "half of wisdom is loving the people.”
The perception of philanthropy and dedication to the people is generally perceived as material welfare, but it is clear that "the people’s affairs" are not limited to material and welfare issues and their services are not exclusive to benefits to their material and temporal desires; but the intellectual and spiritual services to the people are more important and more fundamental.
Helping a Muslim to meet his needs and making his wish come true is superior to the reward of a Hajj with twenty thousand dinars of charity given at each, but such a assistance is of the most popular things to God. Even if someone cannot meet the need for his Muslim brother, but can take advantage of his own reputation in this regard, then, he is morally obliged to do so. That means he should do what he can in any way that he can to try to meet the need for the Muslim brother, though his efforts might fail.

4. Efforts made to reform the affairs among the members of the general public:

The Holy Quran says: "Then, stop [disobeying] and fear God, and reform the hostility that is among you, reform and reconciliation, and if you believe, obey Allah and His Messenger." (Al-Anfal, 1) also God said: "The believers are brothers then restore peace and reconciliation between your two brothers, and fear God so that you shall be shown mercy." (Hajarat 10)
The reward "the nature of the reform" in Islam is regarded as superior to prayer, fasting and alms: Imam Ali (peace be upon him) has recommended to his own sons and to all of the Shia Muslims thus: I recommend that you, all of my children and my close relatives and anyone who receives this letter, fear God and array the affairs and restore peace among you as I heard that your grandfather (the Prophet) said that reconciliation among people is more precious than many years of prayer and fasting. "
Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) has recognized the reconciliation among the people as a kind of charity: "Correcting the differences among people and bringing them close to one another is a charity that God loves."

5. The Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice:

The best effects of social ethics of Islam and the most important characteristics of Islamic lifestyle are summarized as enjoining good and forbidding wrong. The basis of this principle is that one should not be selfish and arrogant in promoting good and preventing evil. According to this ordinance, no Muslim can just follow his own good; rather, it is obligatory upon him that others will also become aware of the evil called good, "men and women of faith, but are (friends and collaborators). They enjoin the good and forbid the evil. They say prayers in groups and pay the poor to pay and obey Allah and His Messenger, God will have mercy on them as well very soon. Allah is Mighty and Wise. "(Repentance, 71). According to this verse, having a relationship of friendship with other believers and being concerned about their fate can be essential. And this requires an interest in each other, meaning each other well and offering guidance and criticizing the bad and the indecent affairs is the necessary guidance to the recommended deeds and rejecting the evil, prayer and spiritual development, and obedience to Allah and His messenger and helping the weak and the needy (paying Zakat); and finally the fruit of all this state of affairs is the revelation of God's endless mercy.
The same issue is a sign of the superiority of a person over another individual. Those enjoining the good and forbidding the evil are, for the Lord, more honorable and honored than those who do not practice these two deeds.
Unlike some other religious precepts, enjoining good and forbidding wrong are universal and moral obligations. These two moral duties are common in many different ways. It explains that:
First of all, all of the Muslims, men and women, young and old, are subject to this rule. Namely, the duty is not typical of a certain group or individual; secondly, the verdict can be carried at all times; (c) it applies to all individuals which means all the people in the society are involved in the same manner, even the rulers and the powerful people. The result is that enjoining good and forbidding wrong is one of the hallmarks of the Islamic lifestyle and Islam and the Muslim scholars all have made efforts to operationalize and institutionalize this Islamic behavior. Imam Hussein (peace be upon him) sacrificed his own sweet life and the lives of his loved ones and all the friends and relatives for fulfilling and performing these two virtues.